Comments on The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
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arenarceus
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 52: The League Finals
O.O cheerful little Mew….. THE DESTROYER?!?!
Lol that would be an awsome twist though. >D<
[08/12/2010 14:55:47]
sarahc
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 1: The Pokémon on the Road
The first three paragraphs do a really good job of describing Sailance and Mark. I usually just throw an adjective or two in there and leave it to the reader. I also liked it when Mark yelled "I FOUND A FREAKING CHARMANDER!" *giggles*
One small typo: "…first time she saw a Pokémon close up, which is [it] probably was."
Also, "'Oh God!' she uttered out"? Really, Butterfree?
P.S. Go into a bit more detail when you're describing a PokémonReply: Keep in mind I wrote that in 2004; it's kind of useless to try to give serious critiques here since it's in no way actually representative of how I write today. When I attempt to reread these chapters, I generally spend half of the time headdesking.
I have to simply disagree with you on the describing Pokémon bit - I used to do that in a large chunk of the ILCOE, but the thing is detailed descriptions of ordinary Pokémon really just uselessly halt the flow of the story. For one thing it's not appropriate for the POV, since Mark has no reason to be staring at the Pokémon for several seconds taking in every body part; he's just going to think, "Oh, it's a Charmander." And it's not even for the benefit of the reader, since if you know what Pokémon are you know what I'm talking about much easier if I just say "Charmander", and in the unlikely case you don't know what Pokémon are, the image you end up with in your head will never actually look anything like the actual Pokémon anyway. I think it makes much more sense to just say the name of the Pokémon and then bring up its relevant features (e.g. Charmander's flame tail) when they actually affect something in the story.
[08/08/2010 23:31:58]
Zenigame26
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 37: Carl
Or Mark's Charizard. This is just as chaotic as it's supposed to be…Reply: As a rule, if there are multiple Charizard in the scene, just "Charizard" used as a name (i.e. you could replace it with "James") is always Mark's Charizard. Any other Charizard would be referred to as "the other Charizard", "the female Charizard", "Carl's Charizard", etc. So that particular instance was referring to Mark's Charizard.
[08/08/2010 09:14:48]
Zenigame26
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 37: Carl
Nevermind, it was Charlie. ^_^;
[08/08/2010 09:13:27]
Zenigame26
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 37: Carl
"Charizard fired the Flamethrower anyway, since he’d bothered to prepare for it. As the Vaporeon materialized out of the Pokéball, she was caught in the middle of a column of white-hot flame."
Wasn't Carl's Charizard female earlier in this chapter?
[08/08/2010 09:11:47]
Neverine (yrane on fanfiction.net)
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 35: Suicune
Suicune is my faverouite Pokemon and I do NOT like you killing it but, oh well it was a needed part of the story. I really like the strange relationship between Lapras and May. I also like the way you do battles, in fact I love your fic!
[08/04/2010 17:23:37]
Neverine
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 28: Scyther's Revenge
Up to now, even with Charletwo this was still just a particularly good journey fic. But now this entire thing is transformed into something darker…
[08/04/2010 16:51:46]
Air Bear 117
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 31: Spirit
Nice chapter. It was awesome. I like your story so far! :D
[08/02/2010 18:43:16]
Rotom4m
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 54: Reunion
what pokemon does she want 2 release? she already released Tyranitar.Reply: She already released him from the Pokéball, but formally releasing a Pokémon also requires the Pokéball to be deactivated at a PC, which is what she was doing there.
[07/16/2010 02:34:14]
sarahc
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 46 Extra: Letting Go
I thought May was going to wait and see whether or not Quilava would change her mind about evolving, not let her go!!! >:(
[07/11/2010 18:46:41]
sarahc
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 40: In the Dark
I'm confused. From what I've read, this story is set while Hoenn was still the big thing. So, why is there a Honchkrow?Reply: The setting of this story considers all regions, Pokémon and moves retroactively canonical the moment their respective games are out in English. The fic was originally started before Ruby and Sapphire came out, with the first Hoenn Pokémon simply appearing in something like chapter seventeen when they had been released. Similarly, while the ILCOEth revision was started when Hoenn was still "the big thing" as you word it, this particular chapter was written after Diamond and Pearl came out, and from that point on (specifically, from chapter 36), the story acts like Sinnoh Pokémon have existed all along but just happened not to be mentioned. The same will happen when Black and White come out in English.
[07/11/2010 18:23:05]
Unknown
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 54: Reunion
I had a larger review, but unfortunatly, my window closed, so I can't say what I was going to…
When you write parts like Taylor dying, it reminds me of a news article. I thought maybe that he would really not be dead, but the news report proved otherwise. I feel like I'm more shocked then them … it just comes out all of a sudded, and for me, the safe bubble of knowing the story is just fiction just popped for a second.
I'm predicting that when Alan finds out why Tryanitar acted as he did, he's going to be very upset, and May will have something to think about?
[07/03/2010 16:18:06]
ShiroTheWhiteUmbreon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 54: Reunion
I would like to let you know,that you wrote the best pokemon fanfic I've ever read.You've inspired me to write my own but it's not as good.Just wanted to let you know you've done a good job.
[07/01/2010 05:45:56]
nvvihg
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 35: Suicune
I hate Gyarados!! Make a new Suicune!! Revise the plot of the legendary stuff thing to have a suicune that didn't die!!! I'm going to make an AU writing of this where Suicune doesn't die. POKéMON CAN'T DIE! I CAN CATCH DEAD POKéMON IF THEY COULD DIE! I got over it now. What is the subplot anyway? Explain it please. I could still catch dead Suicune with the Dead Ball, my special creation. When they dragged its body, did they drag its head too?
[06/28/2010 16:47:20]
opaltiger
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 54: Reunion
"The Tyranitar attacked him on his own accord."
Of his own accord.
[06/27/2010 11:50:56]
Fwahfwah
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 54: Reunion
It might be me, but I think this sentence can be worded better:
'“What?” May asked, looking between Mark and Alan and looking utterly lost.'
maybe
'“What?” May asked, looking between Mark and Alan, utterly lost' would work? I dunno. XD I'm sorta lame with grammar.
[06/25/2010 23:16:07]
Helenoodle
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 54: Reunion
Awesome! I've finally read all of it! For some reason I chuckled at Rick threatening May. Lol. Anyways, thanks for giving me a great time, I can't wait for more!
[06/25/2010 20:42:44]
Raitora Kuro Yamiraku
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 54: Reunion
Wow. That was… interesting. Short, but interesting. Rick's "interview" made me laugh. And Alan is kind of hilarious. "People getting murdered is a big deal!" XD
[06/23/2010 20:19:33]
Oh-Paching
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 54: Reunion
Oh really? Cause I thought he'd get over it eventually, but that's just me.
[06/23/2010 16:03:48]
Venomoth
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 54: Reunion
"you League finals" should be "your League finals".
[06/23/2010 15:06:09]