Huh, I totally forgot that the prologue took place in a town… not that the setting's really relevant, although I guess it ends up being or becoming Sailance? Assuming Mew buried Chalenor's severed head (the carnage is so over-the-top, I love it) nearby rather than flying off with it to pick a different spot for whatever reason.
When I re-read the fic a while ago I have to admit I kind of shook my head and went, "Oh, Dragonfree" at the part where Mark enthuses about constructive criticism. I liked it, it was super subtle. :P It's also funny that you later mention finding the part where Mark sasses Mrs. Grodski and people laugh at his dumb sarcasm very "and then everybody clapped," because I'd been thinking exactly the same thing, and more or less the same thing about him getting high praise for his drawings. Sandslash telling Mark he's a great trainer is no doubt the most egregious example, but I guess the narrative really did like to make him out as awesome at the beginning, didn't it? (Sorry it couldn't last, Mark!)
Mark's art teacher also has a bit of a "How do you do, fellow kids" vibe going on with her calling the school stupid, and then of course Mark thinks that her describing it that way makes her approximately the coolest teacher ever, haha.
“Oh God!” she uttered out, speechless. “John!”
Okay, I had to laugh at Mark's mom saying something and the narration describing her as "speechless." :P
This bizarre bit of worldbuilding originated as me using the wrong English word…
I'm curious what the wording issue was; my original guess was using "inflammable" for "flame-proof," but that doesn't seem like it would have caused you to come up with flame-proof clothing in the first place…
This is kind of a dull chapter, and the prologue is super melodramatic, but it's cool to see how it's still better than what you'd previously come up with and that there's some good in it as well. It definitely has the feel of a genuine thing that a fourteen-year-old would have written, for better or for worse. Neat how you incorporated the birdsong, too; did not remember that bit by the time I was reading 77, heh.