Comments on The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)

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CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 32: The Birthday Party

"I will, of course, go on to not have this exception for Thunder Wave at the League later, because I am the most consistent"

Ah, I found where you knew the Thunder Wave usage was inconsistent after all. Based on when each of these battles happened, it looks like this is most likely because Thunder Wave was effective on Volt Absorb Pokemon in gen 3, but not in gen 4 - with these battles being written during gen 3, and the league battles being written during gen 4. So you probably just looked it up each time and didn't notice that it had changed.

Reply: Ha! I never realized that was why, but that does make a lot of sense, actually. I always thought I'd just sort of arbitrarily decided to make an exception in the earlier chapters for some reason and had then forgotten about it.

[06/03/2024 20:30:48]

CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 31: Spirit

This is one of the times where you have Thunder Wave work against a Volt Absorb Lanturn, but in a later chapter it doesn't work (I commented on that chapter).

I think it also worked against Marge's Lanturn, but I forgot to check.

"The big question then, though, would be exactly how Spirit gets her final blessing from Entei." Does Entei not have any way to find his potentials? Surely he does because any of them could move at any moment, unless he was just planning to continually search all of Johto to look for them whenever he wants to check up on one who happens to not be where he expected. I know he's not psychic, but the energy he puts into the potentials is his energy, so I'd buy that he can just detect it.

Alternatively, Spirit could tell Entei she's leaving with May to Ouen.

There's still the question of Entei getting to Ouen at all, but I'm sure he could figure it out.

[06/03/2024 17:51:29]

CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 31: Spirit

This is one of the times where you have Thunder Wave work against a Volt Absorb Lanturn, but in a later chapter it doesn't work (I commented on that chapter).

I think it also worked against Marge's Lanturn, but I forgot to check.

[06/03/2024 16:14:20]

CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 29: Stormblade and Shadowdart

It honestly is believable that Mark would accidentally call the paramedics doctors at least.

The Abra helping the paramedics is a really interesting throwaway world building detail.

I wish Mark or anyone reacted to Scyther's drama. One of the big things that makes it feel irrelevant is that in-universe no one else cares or does anything. It's always odd in general when Mark just watches some Pokemon have a long conversation or scene which he could easily participate in but he just doesn't do anything or have any thoughts about it.

[06/03/2024 15:42:30]

CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 28: Scyther's Revenge

I do like Fury even though he doesn't end up mattering - but it fits okay alongside other random trainers Mark encounters as part of his journey. It'd be cool to see anything more come of it. It's the type of thing you'll see in book 1 of something that then becomes much more significant in a sequel.

I don't believe this happens but it would be cool to see Scyther make a promise somewhere near the end to show his character growth.

[06/03/2024 15:09:36]

CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 27: Past, Present and Future

Skarmory is already present in Johto. Did May just want a lower level one and right away? I'm curious how long that trip was just to get one Pokemon. I don't recall Ouen's location relative to Johto coming up.

Also, Scyther's suicidal feelings are pretty decently written and plausible for his situation, the angst is just over the top - which presumably wouldn't be the case if you write it again while not being 15. I would just note that often the most suicidal people don't tell anyone how they feel, so the part where Scyther is often very eager to explain how suicidal he was and still is comes off as odd. It'd be more likely for Mark or someone else to need to convince him to talk about it. Also, people don't always make attempts to commit suicide when they're at their worst. It's actually more likely that in your most depressed moments, you are suicidal but don't have the energy to do it. Instead, once you start to feel a bit better, that's when you paradoxically have the energy to try. It's a huge risk when people go on anti-depressants and is one of the reasons they're supposed to he watched closely by someone they trust early on with a new medication - the anti-depressants may make them feel better enough that they can manage to kill themselves. Those are the things I'd suggest taking into consideration for the rewrite.

[06/03/2024 13:21:40]

CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 26: Dead or Alive

What is the point of mentioning the animal world idea at all meant to be here? Sure, it's vaguely interesting, but it doesn't actually affect anything, since no animals ever appear in the fic, Mark never thinks about this again until the random part explaining more about it being destroyed, and humans being alongside Pokemon doesn't really require any particular explanation since it's already part of the world you're writing a fanfic about. If it's here at all it'd maybe be better mentioned as just a one-sentence aside, since it does nothing.

Reply: At the time I wrote this chapter I had zero idea what was actually going to be relevant to the plot and what wasn't, and also had no real sense of streamlining narrative in general. I'd come up with this worldbuilding to explain why humans in the Pokémon world are like our world's humans despite there being no other animals and Pokémon being very different sorts of creatures, so I wanted to include it in the fic; my thought process didn't go much further than that.

[06/03/2024 11:22:20]

CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Pokémon Festival – May 25th: Chaletwo's Arrival

I thought you'd comment on it here, but I'm still confused about why they can only talk when Mark's dead. Chaletwo handwaves it by just saying someone could otherwise always overhear, but 1. someone could overhear Mark talking to May, Alan, and others later about the War, yet Chaletwo never cares about that, and 2. both Chaletwo and Molzapart can speak to people psychically anyway, which presumably can't possibly be overheard.

Reply: I just wanted Chaletwo to kill Mark and then handwaved a reason he supposedly had to; it never made much sense.

[06/03/2024 11:16:20]

CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 16: The Third Badge

The buying antidotes would still make sense if it was just security for the future now that her and Charmeleon have been traumatically poisoned once. Though I guess the idea is that Scorplack venom wouldn't be helped by an antidote at all.

[06/01/2024 13:46:21]

CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 16: The Third Badge

The buying antidotes would still make sense if it was just security for the future now that her and Charmeleon have been traumatically poisoned once. Though I guess the idea is that Scorplack venom wouldn't be helped by an antidote at all.

Reply: In chapter 14 May specifically said it was for the Mitch fight, though, which then turned out to be nonsense because you can't use items in the gym battle anyway - that's what I was commenting on.

[06/01/2024 13:33:24]

Nat
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Final Stretch – Chapter 74: Unraveling

Damn, damn, I was so convinced that Rob was going to be killed. Deliberately this time. He said he’d sooner die or release Mew, and everyone was so desperate, and it was all falling apart and I thought someone might actually order a Pokemon to attack and kill Rob. And then they’d need to deal with that too. I had such a feeling of dread.

On a related note tho. I think my favorite part of TQFTL is the incredibly messy fallout of Tyler Lancaster’s death. Neither Tyler nor Rick are really good people, they do a lot of really, really dubious things, like hypnotizing law enforcement and treating Pokemon as tools more than partners.

And like. May is a much better and more fair battler, everyone agrees. But if this were the Pokemon anime, there’d probably be an extended arc around how treating your Pokemon as friends is a far superior strategy towards pushing them to win. But also everyone still viewed her are objectively the better trainer, and they’re not wrong but she’s still a kid. She’s twelve. She’s twelve and the police never listen to her and everyone is calling her a murderer, judging her, saying ‘you should have known better! You should never have let this happen! This is all your fault!’

And they’re not wrong, she did play a major part in it happening but. She’s 12 and the world is ending and everyone is calling her a murderer, and she’d never been the most friendly or likable kid before but no one wants to be a murderer. And at 12, that’s gotta mess you up.

I really love the conflicting morality in TQFTL. Robin and Alan want to do the morally correct thing, but in doing so come off as not seeing the big picture, or unempathetic towards how this whole ordeal affected May. Chaletwo wants to save the world, but he’s also so terrified of dying. Mark got caught up in something so much bigger than himself.

I think Alan and May’s character development is amazing, too. It’s sad they haven’t entirely made up, but I’m delighted Alan apologized for how he acted towards May.

Also did not realize you releases a slightly edited version. Hopping over there now— so excited to at last read the ending!

Reply: <3 Thank youuu, I really appreciate comments like these!

[06/23/2022 10:38:10]

Nat
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Prologue

So here I am. I legitimately don’t recall the last year I read a chapter of this story— probably 2014 or 2015 at the very latest. But recently I was hit with the urge to reread a couple old Pokemon fanfics I loved, and I heard this one had been completed. So I wanted to read it from start to finish.
Before I get started, tho, I wanted to say congratulations. It’s difficult to finish a story, requiring a lot more than just motivation. You did something amazing, and deserve to feel proud for it. I can’t wait to re-experience the whole tale, complete.

Reply: Aw, thank you! <3 Only saw this now, but if you're still making your way through it, I just put up a slightly edited version that fixes various minor things and also has an improved version of chapter 76 - probably you'll want to swap over to that one.

[06/09/2022 12:23:21]

RandomReader
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 29: Stormblade and Shadowdart

Late, but just a thought - couldn't "slaves" serve as a replacement for the use of the term "robots"? Perhaps it would be redundant with the use of "slave" later in the chapter, but then again, they're far enough apart it sounds okay when I think about it.

Reply: Yeah, definitely! That was one of the changes I made in the ILCOE patch version I just put up, which makes many such line edits I talk about wanting to change in the commentary.

[06/08/2022 01:24:50]

ShadowKaiserin
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 57: Three Conversations

Fun Fact, this was the very first chapter of this fic I ever read. Yes, I know that's terrible, but I don't give a damn about spoilers and I was hooked from the first paragraph. Original fake Pokemon? Pokemon death? Named character death that everyone apparently has PTSD about? Oh Boy! I needed to read this from the beginning right away. Nine years later, I still get a warm nostalgic feeling whenever I get to this chapter. What a snapshot of these characters!

Reply: Aw, thank you for sharing that! Brightened my evening to (finally) see these comments - thrilled you're coming back to the fic.

[11/28/2020 15:13:22]

ShadowKaiserin
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 49: The Rage of a Scyther

I fully admit that the League arc chapters are the ones I come back to the most, and for a silly reason. I love the strategizing that goes on in them. Mark mulling over weakness-countering moves for his team in this chapter is so relatable, I absolutely have a notebook somewhere with a team weakness list just like that written down for all my teams. Love this arc, love this chapter, love that little stream of conscious strategizing section.

[11/28/2020 07:30:38]

Iveechan
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 53 Extra: April Fools

Not sure what I like more, both versions having Taylor falling on his back or the fact you snuck a "questioned" in there like from the earlier chapters.

[05/19/2020 14:54:09]

Seren
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Final Stretch – Chapter 74: Unraveling

Well, I was definitely fooled, because I assumed Rick's Mewtwo² was just a clone of a clone and never seriously considered it an actual legendary that might be affected by the War. I'd also thought that if that WERE the case, then not only would they have to catch all the legendaries, but then they'd have to make sure Rick didn't have a single one of his clones out at the exact right moment also, and there was just no way they'd know when that was going to be. (I was also swept up by thinking of Rick and the War as two separate threats, though, too, so consider that a success.)

Honestly this is probably my favorite chapter after confronting Rick. It really does build this looming feeling of tension and dread, the Mew Hunter twist was actually pretty clever, and that feeling of "wait, was that the pulse?!?!" and the immediately following "oh no something is very wrong" was a fantastic climax.

[09/16/2019 04:05:12]

Seren
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Final Stretch – Chapter 72: Rick

I'd just like to say, this is my favorite chapter in the fic. I distinctly remember reading this the night it came out (very early morning?) and then being absolutely mortified at Floatzel being murdered, and then Spirit too (despite the fact that they were quickly revealed to still be alive in the narrative, because I couldn't shake the feeling that, no, this particular author would totally leave that as a morbid twist for the next chapter). I'm really glad they survive, and I really like the but where Weavile only attacks after seeing Floatzel injured, but very few fic moments had left me in that sort of horrified shock.

[09/01/2019 22:58:59]

Negrek
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 65: Three Dragons

Funny, having Mew tell the legendaries that the previous war was just a one-time thing seems like it would require her to come up with a pretty elaborate story about how that could be. Like, what exactly would cause all the legendaries to suddenly slaughter each other, every single one of them, and how could Mew really assure everyone that it would never happen again? Whatever the case, it seems like the legendaries would at least *try* to do something to to prevent the situation from happening again if they actually knew about it. Like, if Mew spun it as Arceus having come down and cast judgment on the legendaries for their sins (reasonably close to the truth), then I would expect to see at least some of the legendaries adhering to their own kind of religion where they try to be good so Arceus doesn't show up and slaughter them all in the future. Or if Mew said that one legendary became super powerful and basically started all the murdering, etc., I would expect some kind of agreement or something between the legends to try and prevent anyone from getting so powerful again. Like I'm trying to think up a scenario where Mew would have fabricated something and Chaletwo's capture plan (or the beasts' soul gems) were the only measures anyone was taking to prevent a future war and having trouble coming up with one.

I agree that the current set-up, where the legendaries in general don't seem to realize that there ever was a war or question why Mew made them a thousand or so years ago, doesn't make a lot of sense. And probably the humans would have noticed all this nonsense going down unless someone mass-memory-modded them every time or something (and even then there would be physical evidence…). idk. It's a tough problem.

Just curious as we get into the NaNo chapters, do you think that NaNo was good for this fic overall? Like here, you basically rewrote the entire chapter, so you weren't able to use the draft for all that much. Do you think you might have finished faster if you hadn't done that NaNo sprint and then had to do so much editing afterwards, or do you think figuring out some of this stuff that didn't work on the first go-round ended up helping?

Reply: Like I said in there, the current canon is that Mew just made it sound like it happened out of nowhere, had never happened before, and nobody knew why - no elaborate story, no Arceus coming down, just one big question mark. It's pretty hard to take measures against a complete unknown. It does leave some earlier dialogue in the fic sounding a a bit odd, like Entei and Chaletwo both indicating they'd fully believed they'd never die for a thousand years (surely at least for a while at first they'd have worried about whether something like that could reoccur), and that's the sort of thing I mean by writing it more like that was the case from the start.

It might actually be more robust for Mew to just go with it not involving them going mad at all, and just saying it was a regular old war where they'd split into factions over some disagreement and then killed each other. Obviously then it's pretty reasonable for the legendaries not to spend their time worrying about that just happening when they're all broadly getting along fine barring individual rivalries. Mew would need to fudge something about the whole Chalenor dying issue, though - if he was supposedly the Preserver, he should be a true immortal, so a mundane war shouldn't be able to kill him. Maybe Chaletwo thinks only Mew is a true immortal. Hmmm.

I think the fic did benefit a lot from me writing out this bad rough draft of the entire rest first and then being able to have a full overview while I thought about how I wanted to change it. Writing and publishing a chapter at a time, I would almost certainly have done a much worse job building things up, especially when it comes to May's arc.

[07/15/2019 18:34:19]

Person using an e-reader to browse the Internet
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 65: Three Dragons

I've found a sentence in this chapter with a confusing pronoun, which I assume is a typo.
This one is at the beginning of the 16th paragraph from the bottom. May's Mutark uses the pronoun "their", which is not used for it anywhere else that I have read so far.

Reply: That's referring to Racko and Pamela, not to Mutark; they were on Dracobalt's back earlier, and after Preciure tore them off, Mutark took their place there.

[07/10/2019 11:35:46]

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