The Quest for the Legends

One day I was walking and I come across a sapphire with writing on it that Said:

Sapph Ire
3256 Cerulean city
4 Kanto Region
Starter: Drimchar
Pokemigus: yes
other form: Latios/Empoleon.

That was my Pokimigus license…beside the fact that I couldn’t transform into a Latios.

Chapter 1 part 1
Mena the girl

I went outside with my Drimchar and started to travel to Coro Town. On route 1001 I found a girl
who had 2 pokémon. "Do you want to battle?” she said. "Yeah, Sure. What’s your name?" I said. "Mena" Mena said. "Alright lets battle."

Chapter 1 part 2
The battle
(Note each battle gets its own part)
"Go Drimchar," started Sapph, “Moves are Ember Bubble
Scratch and
Leer
Type: Water."
Lv. 9
"Leafgy Get 'em good," Mena started, "Moves are Razor Leaf Growl Peck Tackle
Type: Grass."
Lv. 9
"Drimchar use Ember"
"Leafgy uh…"
Leafy {Owowowow 15/76 HP left}
"…Use peck"
Drimchar {80/90 HP left}
"Finish him Drimchar"
Leafgy {I lose…}
Leafgy suddenly fainted.
"I Win" says Sapph

Chapter 1 part 3

Am I Dead?

"Nice battle Mena"
"Yeah you are good"
"Mehehe…"
"What was that" they both say in unison
Then a Sablye Pops out of the bush. Then more come. They push Sapph out of the way and charge at Mena. They start to stab her and…
"Ahhhhhhhh" screams Sapph as he jumps in front of Mena. The Sablye stabs him instead. Sapph feels his mind start to wander.

Bad right?

Your punchuaition needs work.

That and the fact you need to explaine things like:

What's a pokemigus?

What do the characters, or more importantley, the pokemon, look like?

You should answer those.

Alright i will.
If you read harry potter and no what an anamigus is…well that's what a pokemigus is…exept for all you dim people out there…with pokemon.
I am NOT responsible for taking ANYONES sprites I get them from somebody who gives me sprites)Drimchar basicly is a blue chimchar.
Leafgey is basicly a grass/flying version of pidgey.For Complete Detail and charecter looks go to
My Fanfic.freewebs.com

Yeah, it was extremly obvious, but it could have been something totaly unrelated.

Also, your pokemon need to be more original, even the most unoriginal pokemon (Rattatta, for example) aren't total ripoffs like yours (no offence, I'm just saying what's on my mind) because they have special powers the thing being ripped off (the common mouse, in our example) are only vagely related to it, you say 'its basiclly a _____ _____'

I don't get the whole sableye-stabbing thing 0.o"

And I agree with SSB, no offense.

Okay i Guess I should clarify the fact that since Sablye have claws he basicly "Stabbed" Sapph with his claw And Sandstormbuisle Im working on other sprites.