11/04/2018: Commentary: chapter 22
The Pokémon Festival - May 22nd: The Attack Approval (commentary)In this chapter that's 90% irrelevant narrative detour that nothing ever comes of, I poke fun at my fifteen-year-old self's adverb usage, Mark manages to be a terrible person after doing so well last chapter, we resolve the illegal training subplot (badly), I attempt to write adult Ash, and I tell you about how much more fun the Attack Approval was in the previous versions.
COMMENTARY DONE
Comments
Altissimo (11/04/2018 20:29:32)
I never read the previous versions so that bit with Dragonair you pulled was really interesting! I would love to see some more stuff like that in the next revision. I didn't notice it as a kid but with the commentary / benefit of hindsight/age it is more obvious some of Mark's Pokémon have more to them personality-wise than others so that stuff with Dragonair was really odd considering that, lol. I liked his quip about ruling the universe (even if it does seem like Edgy Teen Humor bc thats the kind of stuff I used to say haha)
Embers (11/06/2018 00:24:31)
I'm assuming you came up with the attack approval before the 'Gyarados was disqualified from the league anyway'.
A lot of these things in the commentary is obvious now, but I was so oblivious to it when I first started reading TQftL. To be fair, that was back when the UMR was the latest version, but what a difference.
Butterfree (11/06/2018 07:07:58)
Yup. I can't remember exactly when I came up with Gyarados being disqualified, but it was a long time before I actually got to the League; however, the way I wrote this here, I can't imagine I was already planning to disqualify Gyarados by this point. Must've happened sometime in between.