Molzapart and Rainteicune
My first attempt at a fanfic, for all to see and laugh at!
Please note that this is bad. For one thing it's completely ungrammatical: it's the first anything I attempted to write in English of my own free will, and the result ranges from the merely syntactically awkward to the completely incoherent. For another, it barely even qualifies as fanfiction because most of it is a lengthy essay about my (stupid) fake legendary hybrids. And thirdly, the "plot" is ridiculous in more ways than you can count. I will not be held responsible for any loss of sanity resulting from attempting to read this.
To explain, clarify, snark and otherwise remark on various things, I have also included my later-day comments; if your browser supports Javascript, you can turn the comments invisible to simply enjoy Molzapart and Rainteicune in its full original glory by clicking here. (Clicking again will then bring the comments back, if you change your mind.)
Molzapart (Unodostres) [In 2001 I had no idea that "uno", "dos" and "tres" meant anything in any language, so "Unodostres" did not sound as ridiculous to me at the time as it does now.]
Molzapart (or Unodostres) is the most powerful pokémon. There is only one that was born when Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres and Mew were playing together at Articuno’s home, at Seafoam Islands. [Because playing is how legendary Pokémon spend their free time. Clearly.] They saw the ultra-powerful Mist stone and thaught is was a Geodude, so they attacked. Articuno used Blizzard, Zapdos used Thunder, Moltres used Fire blast and Mew used Psychic. These attacks all hit the Mist stone at once and it broke. Most of the parts were found by people working on a gameshark so they put it in, some parts landed in the Seafoam Islands cave, but those parts weren’t many, so few trainers have found a Mist stone in the cave. [This whole bit is based on a horde of fake cheats for the R/B/Y era, according to which if you used the Itemfinder 100 times in Seafoam Islands, or something like that, you would find an item called a Mist Stone which could evolve any Pokémon. There were also Gameshark codes for it. Even knowing the Mist Stone was probably fake, I apparently felt compelled to stuff an explanation for the fake cheats into my fic.] But, the middle part of the Mist stone was left. It stood right before the eyes of the legendary birds and Mew, it glowed after the Fire blast, sparks came out of it because of the Thunder, it was frozen solid because of the Blizzard and it was flying few cm from earth because of Mew’s Psychic. And it turned to life. It transformed into an ultra-powerful pokémon with Moltes’s head, Zapdos’s body and Articuno’s wings and tailfeathers. It didn’t look like Mew at all, but it had Mew’s psychic powers. Maybe it’s because Psychic’s base damage is only 90, but Fire blast’s, Thunder’s and Blizzard’s is 120. [Or maybe the psychic powers were a lazy afterthought to a Pokémon I'd originally designed as simply a legendary bird hybrid.] It attacked them with Peck, but they were quick enough to avoid the attack an run.
A scientist few years ago had a dream about this pokémon. [Later I decided this anonymous "scientist" was in fact Ash, but of course I didn't go back and edit in any indication of this.] He told the other scientists the dream, and one of them had the same dream. They found the pokémon soon. [Well, that was quick.] They didn’t belive their eyes when their pokédex told them “this is a mysterious pokémon that is fire/electric/ice/flying/psychic-type and can know five attacks at a time. No data avaiable.” [Because when you know that it's mysterious, all five of its types and the fact it can know five attacks at a time, you clearly have no data whatsoever. Maybe that's what this mysterious word "avaiable" means.] Five types and five attacks!? A new pokémon? But, they aren’t famous jet. [In Icelandic J is always pronounced like the Y in yet, hence why I would get that confused. I've always found it kind of interesting how completely different my atrocious spelling and grammar were from a native English-speaker's atrocious spelling and grammar.] Why? Well, they found out too that on level 100 it has 999 in all of it’s status. [Originally I wrote that it had 500 in all of its stats at level 100, actually, but out of everything that was the part I chose to go back and fix later when I discovered to my horror that some people had created fake Pokémon that were supposed to have 999 in all their stats at level 100, and I couldn't just let their Pokémon be more powerful than the one I'd made with the express purpose of being the most powerful Pokémon in the world.] And it isn’t just powerful, it knows it is, so it can really kill other pokémon – and humans. If they told everyone, every trainer would try to capture it, and it would kill them, because it knows it can and it’s proud. It would never allow anything to control it. Only if a trainer really knows he can’t catch it and respects it, maybe it would help him if he is losing an important battle and knows it is much more powerful than himself, it might help. The scientists gave it the name Molzapart or Unodostres and its pokédex data is: If some trainer thinks he can capture it, nothing can stop it from killing the trainer and his pokémon and use its psychic powers to make everyone forget the trainer, even his parents. [Never be fooled into thinking my morbidity is a recent thing.]
Molzapart’s attacks:
| Level | Attack |
|---|---|
| --- | Peck |
| 6 | Thundershock |
| 7 | Ember |
| 8 | Powder snow |
| 9 | Gust |
| 15 | Confusion |
| 18 | Icy wind |
| 20 | Wing attack |
| 22 | Flame wheel |
| 23 | Spark |
| 24 | Psybeam |
| 26 | Fly (the only pokémon that can learn Fly by itself, but it can forget it.) [At the time this was in fact true, as this was in the G/S/C era.] |
| 30 | Drill peck |
| 34 | Psychic |
| 35 | Thunderbolt |
| 36 | Flamethrower |
| 37 | Ice beam |
| 40 | Aeroblast |
| 41 | Sacred fire |
| 42 | Zap cannon |
| 45 | Fire spin |
| 50 | Blizzard |
| 51 | Fire blast |
| 52 | Thunder |
| 55 | Sky attack |
So – here they are, Molzapart’s attacks. Well, all of its attacks are damaging. That’s because its status is so high, it doesn’t need attacks that lowers the enemy’s status or hightens its own, and there are three groups of attacks, damaging, status lowering or hightening, and attakcs that do nothing at all except if you are lucky, they inflict a status change, Poison, Freeze, Paralyzis, Sleep, Burn, or Confusion. [Don't be fooled into thinking my weird love for figuring out logical categories to split things into is recent, either.] There are too attacks that inflict special status changes that can by inflicted only by using that attack. On this second, I only remember two, Leech seed and Attract. And – well, there is a tiny little group of attacks that DO NOTHING AT ALL! There is only one attack in this group, can you guess wich? Of course, that attack is Splash, Magikarp and Hoppip know them. But, Hoppip is better because it knows some other attacks too! Magikarp will not learn anything until level 15. [The first of many, many irrelevant tangents.] But, I’m supposed to be talking about Molzapart now. Anyway, it’s the only pokemon that simply learns an HM move,(except Goldeen and Seaking with Waterfall) but it can forget Fly, just like a normal attack. Well, Molzapart has much higher status than any pokémon so it doesn’t need group two, and it can inflict burn, freeze, paralyzis and confusion with its normal attacks. And there are poison and sleep left. Well, frezze is like an upgraded version of sleep and burn is like an upgraded version of poison. And bird pokémon can’t use poisoning attacks, anyway. Paralysis is mainly speed-and-“accuracy”(because “fully paralysed” works as “attack missed”) lowering and accuracy-lowering is defensive and Molzapart has just enough defense. Burn is better than poison and Molzapart doesn’t need something to be sure it poisons the enemy and it can’t be sure it burns the enemy. And it doesn’t need anything to be sure to make the enemy fall asleep and can’t make sure it gets frozen solid. So Molzapart doesn’t need attacks from group three either. And no pokémon has anything to do with group four! Wow, Molzapart used Splash. If Molzapart were that dumb, no one would want it! [And this has been my eleven-year-old self's elaborate justification for not giving her Most Powerful Pokémon Ever any of the "useless" moves she would never ever use on her games.]
Molzapart is a pokémon with no weakness. It can, too, do a super effective hit on every type except fire [...and Normal, and Electric, and Psychic, and Rock, and Ghost, and Dark], but with its status, they shouldn’t be a problem. If Articuno were water type, Molzapart would have weakness for electric. If the legendary birds weren’t birds, it would have weakness for ground. You see it almost has weakness for some types. But...I didn’t notice... uh-oh, it has triple wekness for rock-type! Help! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! [This is very possibly my favorite part of Molzapart and Rainteicune. For some reason, although I could edit things like the 500 figure for the stats into 999, it never crossed my mind to just backtrack and erase this paragraph when I suddenly realized it was based on flawed premises.] But, after all, rock-types are slow. Molzapart would just kill them with Blizzard or Ice beam before it could attack Molzapart. [At the time I actually thought Rock was weak to Ice, which it isn't.] No problem, but what about fire/rock type like Maccargo? Doesn’t matter. Molzapart doesn’t need weakness to win in one hit. Forget it, rock-types! Molzapart is much stronger! [And this has been my eleven-year-old self's quick excuse for the Most Powerful Pokémon Ever not actually being as omnipotent as she thought it was.]
There is another thing to say. Molzapart can’t be thought TM and HM moves, although it learns Fly on its own.
[And this concludes the Molzapart section. Originally I repeated the entire essay in Icelandic, but I won't subject you to that; in all likelihood you wouldn't understand it anyway, but it was even sillier, thanks to how inherently silly any kind of discussion of video games will sound in Icelandic.]
Rainteicune
Rainteicune was born after Molzapart. Here’s how it was born.
Raikou, Entei and Suicune were on their race around the Johto world when a terrible thing happened; they all crashed into each other with the power of a gigantic car crash. [I made the best similes, I know.] They knocked out, of course, and they all died there. But how was there suddenly a Rainteicune?
Suicune died first. It turned into a pool of dirty water. But when the water touched Entei’s body, he died, too, and turned into ashes. But just as the water touched Entei, it touched Raikou, wich was still alive, but couldn’t move or even open its eyes. Without thinking, it let of its last Thunder in defense, and then died. [Again: My morbidity is not recent.]
You know, nearly dead people are given electric shocks on hospitals to turn them to life. And Raikou’s Thunder it much more powerful than Hospital machine’s Thundershock. [When I was eleven I thought this was the wittiest thing ever.] The little life left in Raikou went with the Thunder straight to the place where Suicune’s water and Entei’s body touched each other and Entei died. A Thunder with some life in it can turn dead pokémon back to life. And that is exactly what happened. Raikou, Entei and Suicune mixed because the Thunder came from one pokémon and it hit two dead ones at a time. And now, Rainteicune was born! [...Yeah.]
A trainer named Alan Ketchum was just getting his first pokémon, a Charmander. [I made the best transitions, too.] He had gotten the choice of Charmander, Chikorita or Totodile. [Unlike most everything else in this thing, there was an actual reason for him being offered a Charmander rather than a Cyndaquil, which is explained later. Though originally I just wanted him to get a choice of three Pokémon that all began with Ch-, for whatever reason, and had planned for it to be Charmander, Chikorita and Chinchou; sometime after that I decided that was dumb.] He chose Charmander because his father, Professor Ash Ketchum, got it from the egg of his Charizard and a female one that was its friend, or rather girlfriend. [I thought this was the wittiest thing ever, too.] He got a Master ball from his father, wich couldn’t decide wich pokémon he should use the Master ball on, so he told his son to find one of the legendary pokémon and catch it with the Master ball and then use the pokémon to catch the others with regular pokéballs. [Or, in other words, Ash plans to use his son to take over the world.] So Alan went from Pallet town where his father’s and the other scientist’s lab was placed. It once belong to Professor Oak, wich had given Ash his Pikachu, but now Ash shared the lab with some other scientists and they researched new pokémon. He went to Viridian, then Pewter city, then Cerulean, where his mother Misty was a Gym leader once [Perhaps my biggest old shame: I actually thought Ash and Misty were going to get married.], then to Saffron and to Goldenrod in Johto with the Magnet train. Now, Alan was searching for Raikou, Entei or Suicune and eventually ran into Rainteicune. He became scared because he thougt it was a Suicune because of the head, although its body and legs looked stupid. [This is clearly the most eloquent way to put it.] He only had his Charmander but remembered no pokémon can get out of the Master ball, no matter how strong it is, so Alan just threw the Master ball and Rainteicune was caught! [Can you feel the dramatic tension?!] He pointed his pokédex at the pokéball with Rainteicune, but he almost dropped the pokédex when it told him “this is a mysterius pokémon that is fire/water/electric-type. No data avaiable.” “Mysterius pokémon,”Alan told himself, staring at the pokéball. “No data avaiable. [If you couldn't tell by now, yes, I actually, honestly believed that word was spelled that way; it was not a typo.] That only means one thing; I caught a new pokémon, a mix between Raikou, Entei and Suicune. Must be something like Molzapart. Better not release it from the pokéball.”
But now you say wait a minute. How did he know about Molzapart? His father, Ash Ketchum, was actually one of the scientists that had the dream about Molzapart. [Hello, retcon!] Alan had even seen Molzapart. He knew everything about it. Now, let’s continue with the story.
Alan stood there for a long time, staring at the pokéball and thinking, until suddenly...
“Char man der?”
“Oh, Charlie!”(It was the nickname of his Charmander.) [I had never gotten the memo about not including authors' notes in the middle of the story.]
Alan suddenly went happier than he had ever been in his life. His first pokémon capture, a new pokémon and best of all, they were safe. He would never have a better reason to be happy. He was so happy that he took Charlie and hugged him until he noticed that the flame on Charlie’s tail was burning his shirt. Then he went back to Pallet town. [Another one of my favorite bits: this paragraph is so randomly overenthusiastic and ends in such an off-handed manner that it never fails to make me snicker.]
Alan opened the door and called: “Dad! Dad! I need to show you something! Oh, hi, Pamela. Hi, Aron.” [The name Aaron only has one A in it in Icelandic; I didn't learn this was not the case in English until much later.] Pamela was a female Persian and Aron was a male Arcanine. They were just pets. Alan bougt Pamela a month ago in a pet shop as Meowth and on the way home they saw a trainer using Fire stone on his Growlithe. [And thus begins the most unnecessary flashback in history.] The resulting Arcanine didn’t seem to like Pamela.
“Hey,”the trainer suddenly said, “I challenge you to a pokémon battle. My Arcanine against your Meowth!”
“Sorry,” Alan said, “I’m not a pokémon trainer. This Meowth is just a pet. I’m too young to train pokémon yet.”
“Oh. Sorry. I thought- No, Aron!”
The Arcanine suddenly began attacking Pamela. She got out of the way.
“Aron, Stop!”the trainer yelled and took out a pokéball. But Arcanine didn’t seem to want to go inside a pokéball in the middle of battling a cat. It took the pokéball with its jaws and put it on the ground, then used Flamethrower on it. The pokéball melt. [...ed. I was not good with some past tenses.]
“Ack! Do you happen to have a pokéball?” the trainer said.
“Of course not,”Alan replied, “I told you, I’m not a trainer.”
“I thought not. [Incredibly enough, I actually spelled "thought" correctly this time.] But this was my last one. I need to buy some more... you know, I got it in a trade and it won’t obey me now it has evolved.”
“He’ll kill Pamela! Go to the market quickly and buy a pokéball to recall it! I’ll defend her,”Alan said.
Pamela actually did well defending herself. She used Scratch and Bite and evaded all of Aron’s attacks. Finally, the trainer came back.
“You won´t belive this! They don’t have any pokéballs and I can’t go to the next city without a pokémon! It’s my only one!”
Aron was tired and while he was catching his breath, Pamela got behind him and bit his tail. Aron Roared, but then fainted. Pamela evolved into Persian. [And nobody noticed.]
“Sorry,”Alan said “But...”
The trainer was crying.
“I... I evolved Aron because he hated me. He missed his original trainer... you know, Growlithes are very loyal. Pokémon’s personality changes when they evolve, I just hoped he would forget his old trainer. But now I remember... the trainer was trying to beat some trainer that had rock pokémon. I traded him my Totodile but he said he wanted his Growlithe back when he had beaten the trainer and had time to come back. [It is a mystery for the ages how this managed to slip his mind.] And now... I’ve been thinking... Evolving a pokémon is like killing it. [This starts the radical anti-evolution sentiments of this story. I really have absolutely no idea how I came to believe that evolving your Pokémon is evil, because the way I played the games myself, I always evolved everything except Scyther.] And another trainer’s pokémon... he would never evolve my Totodile without asking me... I feel like a killer. I’m no better than Team rocket.”
“They aren’t that bad after all. They tried to steal my father’s Pikachu many times. But he said they aren’t evil. Mostly just funny.”said Alan.
“Really? But what should I do? Maybe catch another Growlithe?”
“Don’t even think about it. Dad says that a good trainer can always reconize his own pokémon from another, even from its twin.”said Alan.
“Who is your father, anyway?”
“My father is Professor Ash Ketchum.” [Unlike his Quest for the Legends self, Molzapart and Rainteicune!Alan is quite proud of being Ash Ketchum's son.]
“Really? The best pokémon trainer ever? The one with the Pikachu? Has he discovered any new pokémon?”
“No,”Alan lied. He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about Molzapart.
“You’re lying. I saw him talking to another scientist wether to call some newly discovered pokémon Molzapart or Unodostres.”
“Okay. I’ll tell you, but don’t tell anyone else. They discovered a new pokémon called Molzapart or Unodostres. It’s a mix between Articuno, Zapzos, Moltres and Mew. It’s the strongest pokémon and no trainer can catch it. There’s only one. It only appears for trainers that respect it. It’s fire/electric/ice/flying/psychic type and can know five attacks at a time. I’ve seen it once... it has Moltres’s head, Zapdos’s body and Articuno’s wings and tailfeathers. It was beutiful.”
“But hey, what can I do with Aron?” [Amusingly, he loses interest as soon as Alan has explained it's the most powerful Pokémon ever. Clearly he is one of the trainers Molzapart would come and help win important battles.]
“I think it’s best for the trainer not to get him as Arcanine. Don’t even let him see Aron. If he doesn’t have any memories of him as Arcanine, he feels better. I’ll take Aron as a pet. Anyway, tell him where he is so he knows he’s safe. Also tell him how you feel and catch another pokémon that is not a Growlithe to trade back for your Totodile. Have it a Fire-type, anyway. Well, I can sure understand if he gets really sad, but I’m sure he will forgive you. And I’ll ask my Dad if there is any way to devolve pokémon and get their old personality back. I won’t forget it.” [This idea was so strange that even in the original version of The Quest for the Legends where I retold Molzapart and Rainteicune, I added in a bit about how actually Alan didn't think there was any way to devolve Pokémon and only suggested this because he was selfish and wanted an Arcanine for himself - which sounds nothing like Alan, but is at least a bit more logical.]
“Okay. Thank you. Hey, when is your birthday?”
“9. September.”
“And how old are you?”
“I’m 9.”
“Will you start training pokémon in September, then?”
“Suppose I will.”
“Hey, you give me your phone number and I’ll give you mine. I’m always finding cool stuff that I don’t need. I’ll give it all to you.” [Another favorite; got to love the sheer game logic of this.]
“Okay. Friends, then?”
“Yes. Friends. I’m Peter Hanks. Nice to meet you.”
“Alan Ketchum. Nice to meet you too.”
Then they heard something. They checked. It was a Jynx attacking a Pikachu. [My descriptions, they were epic.]
“Why doesn’t Pikachu move?”Peter asked.
“It’s frozen solid. Dad... Hey! That’s Dad’s Pikachu! We gotta do something!” [I wonder what Ash's Pikachu was doing in some random dark alley in the city nowhere near Ash.]
Alan took a leap trying to grab Pikachu but then Jynx used Blizzard. Alan fell like a stone statue and Peter relized that he was frozen too.
“I wish Aron weren’t fainted. It could melt Jynx and thaw them out. But...”
“Purrrrrsian.”
“Hey! Pamela! I... I know you’re only supposed to be a pet, but... Bite! Now!”
Pamela bit Jynx once and Jynx ran away. Peter put Alan on Pamela’s back and held Pikachu. Then they hurried to Ash’s lab.
“Help!”
Ash came quickly.
“Who are you?”
“A Jynx attacked your Pikachu and your son. They are frozen.”
“Oh, this needs...”Ash took out a pokéball. “Cyndaquil! I choose you!”
A Cyndaquil came out of the pokéball.
“Cyndaquil! Thaw them out with Flame wheel!” [I knew that Flame Wheel thaws out frozen Pokémon. Clearly this makes me cool. Ignore the part where all Fire moves thaw out frozen opponents.]
“Cynda! Quil!”
“Pi... ka... CHU!!!!!!” [Again: my descriptions were epic.]
Pikachu had certainly been in the middle of using Thunderbolt when Jynx freeze it. The Thunderbolt hit Ash right in the face. He fell to the ground and looked exactly like on a photo on the wall. It was funny. [You know, just in case you didn't realize.]
“Now, how can I thank you for rescuing them? Are you a pokémon trainer?”
“Yes, I am, sir.”
“Then take this Cyndaquil. It will be a good partner. Well, It was supposed to be a choice for Alan as starting pokémon, but I have another level 5 fire pokémon that evolves two times and I’ll never give that one to strangers.” [And it's the reason Alan didn't get a Cyndaquil to choose from! I thought this was supremely clever of me.]
Then Peter left with his new pokémon. [Without saying goodbye, apparently.]
But now, Ash turned to Alan.
“Hi, Alan. Caught any pokémon yet?”
“Yes. A mysterius pokémon that is fire/water/electic-type and no data is avaiable in my pokédex.”
“Do you mean... you caught a new pokémon?” ["No, don't you remember all the Pokémon like that we already have? You're getting old, Dad."]
“Yes. A mix between Raikou, Entei and Suicune that I’m going to name Rainteicune. But if it acts like Molzapart, it should be safe to let it out of the ball in the testing room. It doesn’t have psychic powers so it can’t teleport away or attack us through the glass.”
The testing room was a big room with strong walls. There was no door, only a “window” to another room where the scientists could watch what happened and a small hole in the glass with a holder just below. It was made to put a pokéball on the holder and the beam could get into the room and form a pokémon through the hole but the pokémon couldn’t go back unless it would be recalled in the pokéball. Alan put the pokéball with Rainteicune on the holder and it appeared in the room. It just stood there.
“Rainteicune? That’s you. Use Ember - now!”
Alan wasn’t even hoping Rainteicune would do anything, but it obeyed.
“It’s burning the floor.”Ash wasn’t delighted. [In this story, Ash is the grumpy mom.]
“Okay. Rainteicune – Bubblebeam! Now!”
The room suddenly filled with bubbles.
“Alan! Remove those bubbles! Rainteicune can jump through the glass at any minute!”
“Rainteicune! Thundershock! On all the bubbles!”
Alan was happy that Rainteicune only seemed to be a normal pokémon. The bubbles disappeared one by one.
“What is your fourth attack, Rainteicune?”Alan asked. Rainteicune shot some water from its mouth.
“Oh. So you know water gun too.”
Then Ash and the scientists went on researching Rainteicune, but when they were finished Ash came to Alan and said:
“Okay. Then it’s yours. It’s level 10.” [Because when you've discovered a new legendary Pokémon, the thing to do is to give it to your ten-year-old son.]
Alan was delighted. Now Rainteicune was really his pokémon. And Rainteicune seemed to be happy too.
Rainteicune’s attacks: [Without warning I'm going back from narrative to essay here.]
| Level | Attack |
|---|---|
| --- | Bubble |
| 5 | Water gun |
| 6 | Thundershock |
| 7 | Ember |
| 10 | Bubblebeam |
| 11 | Spark |
| 12 | Flame wheel |
| 18 | Fire spin |
| 22 | Surf (Yes, it actually learns an HM move by itself too.) |
| 23 | Thunderbolt |
| 24 | Flamethrower |
| 30 | Rain dance |
| 36 | Hydro pump |
| 37 | Thunder |
| 38 | Fire blast |
Okay, they found out Rainteicune’s attacks. And Alan went on with his new pokémon. But are there no Raikou, Entei and Suicune anymore? [Obviously the most opportune time to bring this up.] Yes, but not the original ones. They died and mixed into Rainteicune. That’s because these days, most trainers know how to clone pokémon and make a more powerful one, like done with Mewtwo, but much more simple. All trainers that catch Raikou, Entei and Suicune clone them and release the originals. [Obviously, I was thinking of the G/S/C cloning trick, which I also felt compelled to stuff into the canon of the story.] And the clones have higher status, but the truth is that they aren’t any more powerful. Remember Molzapart? It was so strong that it didn’t allow a trainer to control it. The more powerful clones are like that, they don’t use all their power to attack. They don’t escape from their trainer like Molzapart would do only because of the same reason as kids don’t escape from their parents. The clones are born with the trainer in front of them and just can’t go. Molzapart, however, was born wild and has no will to stay with any trainer.
Alan had his first trainer battle using Rainteicune when Rainteicune had reached level 40 and learned all its attacks. The moveset now was Surf, Rain dance, Thunder and Fire blast. Charlie had reached level 15. [Alan's been neglecting him just a tad.] The trainer was one of the trainers that had cloned Raikou, Entei and Suicune and his name was Roger. His Raikou, Entei and Suicune were all level 40, just like Rainteicune.
Alan first sent out Charlie to make him gain some experience. Roger, of course, sent out Suicune because water beats fire. [I love how utterly mundane this is. Yeah, the guy is using cloned legendaries, but let's do the old bait-and-switch while worrying about type matchups.]
“This won’t work. Charlie, come back! Go, Rainteicune!”
“Rainteicuuuune!” This was of course Rainteicune’s cry.
“Hey! What is that? You’re cheating! Only pokémon can fight in a pokémon battle!”
“This is a pokémon. Look!” And Alan pointed his pokédex at Rainteicune.
“Rainteicune, mystic pokémon. This pokémon was first caught by a young trainer at route 46. It is a mix between Raikou, Entei and Suicune.” [Clearly the best Pokédex entry of all time.]
Rainteicune’s data had of course been added to Alan’s pokédex, but Roger’s pokédex only said “no data avaiable”.
“Your pokédex needs to be updated,”Alan said, laughing at Roger’s look inside. [lolwut.]
“Okay. Suicune – Rain dance!”
“Rainteicune – Thunder!”
“Suiicuune!”
“Rain... tei...CUUUUUNE!”
And Suicune was off. [Clearly this is the best battle ever written.]
“Charlie, it’s your turn!”
“Go! Entei!
Entei knows Stomp. Charlie could never survive that.
“Charlie, come back! Go! Rainteicune!”
“Entei – Stomp!”
“Rainteicune – Surf!”
“Enteiii!”
“Raiinteicune!”
And Entei was off, but Rainteicune had only half of its health. [Such brilliant, vivid descriptions!]
“Charlie, beat that one!”
“Go! Raikou!”
“Charlie – Flamethrower!”
“Raikou –Spark!”
“Charman der!”
“Raiiikou!”
Charlie hit Raikou, but became paralyzed.
“Oh no! Charlie, come back! Go! Rainteicune!”
“Raikou – Thunder!”
“Rainteicune – Fire blast!”
“Rai... KOU!”
“Rainteicuune!”
Rainteicune went down to 2 Hit Points, but Raikou fainted. [The emotion! The excitement! I can't bear it!]
“Okay, thanks for the match… gotta go!”
And Alan ran to the next Pokémon Center.
“Hello, dear. What can I do for you?”
“Just heal my pokémon quick… here.” Alan released Rainteicune and Charlie from the pokéballs.
“What pokémon is that?”
“It’s Rainteicune and it was just found,” Alan said. “But I worry about Charlie, he’s paralyzed.”
“Oh, a new pokémon. You know, I’m a nurse, so I’m supposed to know every pokémon. It would be embarassing if a trainer with normal pokémon comes and I don’t know what pokémon it is… well, better heal the poor things.” And she took them into the room but came back suddenly.
“Your… your Charmander is evolving… I thought you’d want to know…”
“CHARLIE!!!” Alan yelled and hurried into the room. He didn’t want the same thing to happen to Charlie as happened to poor Aron. But it was too late, Charlie, wich was trying not to evolve, had evolved into Charmeleon. [Remember the anti-evolution sentiments I mentioned?] Every pokémon tries not to evolve, but the next form, that was in the Land of the Pokémon not yet born, is trying to make it evolve to finally get to the real world of Pokémon already born. That’s why evolution takes time, but the second form is stronger than the first one and the third form is stronger than the second form, so the next stage always wins and the other pokémon goes to the Land of the Evolved Pokémon and they will never get back to Earth. And believe me; NO pokémon is happy there, even though that land is no worse than Earth. They feel like their trainer killed them for being weak. Why? Because if the trainer helps, he can stop the pokémon from evolving very easily. If the trainer doesn’t, it is like saying “Oh yeah, finally is that weakling evolving”. But back to the story, Alan was too late to help, but as he was going to, Charlie became the happiest pokémon in the Land of the Evolved Pokémon. [This is almost kind of sweet, in its own really nonsensical, ridiculous way.]
Alan had to put the Charmeleon into a PC box because he was ten minutes getting it back into the ball after once releasing it, and it didn’t obey anyway. [Well, that's a bit dismissive.]
And that's all I wrote, since at this point I'd started The Quest for the Legends and was more interested in that. Hopefully I've improved a little since then. :P
[I did intend to finish Molzapart and Rainteicune; the plan was to go on to Molzapart confronting Alan in the mountains and explaining he needed Rainteicune to be wild, and offering to devolve Charlie in exchange for making Alan release Rainteicune. To devolve him, Molzapart had to use his special technique Power Drain to get the energy to use his other special technique Devolution Beam, but because Alan insisted on having him use Power Drain on him rather than on Rainteicune as he had intended, the fact the energy he used was human caused Charlie's evolutionary stage to become unstable, as it is in TQftL. Once Rainteicune had been released, I then intended to go back to the essay-like format to finish the discussion on Rainteicune.]