Comments on Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
Pages: 1
CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
"This was also annoyingly unsubtle in the draft, with May explicitly wondering why she wasn't getting better." do you mean why he (mark) wasn't getting better? Or was draft-May wondering why she's not better at talking to Pokemon? It's just the commentary, but I was confused by it.
I like Dragonreen. The contrast with her sisters makes her interesting.
It's pretty cool to see a chapter that had so much editing work done on it. It's clear how much the benefit of having all of the chapters done impacted your ability to really make this one shine.
Also, I was thinking here when you were commenting on Charizard's reaction vs Floatzel's about how the loss of Quilava may have actually had a much bigger impact on May's character arc than she realizes or than the fic acknowledges. You mentioned in earlier commentary that Charizard, as a starter, has training on how to help trainers early in their journey, and while that barely comes up in the ILCOE, he does a few things as a Charmander that reflect this, such as punching the ball away from Eevee. Imagine if May had had Quilava with her to notice that she was mistreating Lapras and Tyranitar and have the background knowledge to actually help her work through that? I think it'd be interesting to hint at that idea in another rewrite. If Charizard was shown doing more to guide Mark as a starter Pokemon, I think that that would highlight the contrast more between Mark's journey versus May's.
Reply: Ohoho, that's a very good point about Quilava. Definitely would like to do something with that!
May was asking why she herself wasn't getting better (at being a better trainer/person). She's shaken after pointlessly taking her anger out on this random Pokémon which she knows was wrong, and that her actions freaked Charizard out to the point he's just thinking of when he can get back to Mark.
[06/12/2024 13:31:18]
CuriousJolteon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
I really like that some of May's Pokemon, like Skarmory, *do* like her. It really highlights her complexity as a character - normally in a lot of media, everyone would like her but fight with her over her flaws, and then she'd get over them and they'd all continue being best friends.
It also highlights their individuality as characters, and not just as animals she happens to own.
[06/12/2024 11:49:24]
Latias spirit
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
That was intresing. I'm bored so here are my favorite characters on Mark's team. 1. Sandslash. 2. Jolteon. 3. Charizard?
[01/13/2016 04:22:27]
mamma
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
Ég las upprifjunarkaflann núna í annað sinn. Ég verð að segja eins og er, að hann er of flókinn. Annað hvort er plottið fáránlega flókið, eða þú ert ekki að útskýra það nógu vel.
En þessi kafli var ágætur. Ég á reyndar bágt með að skilja af hverju May drap ísbjarnarpokemoninn. Hvað græddi hún á því? Hefði hann nokkuð ráðist á hana eða hennar pokemona? Var hann nokkuð að ógna henni? Ég skil heldur ekki hvers vegna pokemoninn hennar lét segja sér að drepa hann, af hverju hann hlýddi May. May er eins og herforingi sem skipar mönnum sínum að drepa óvininn og þeir hlýða í blindni. Ég skil heldur ekki af hverju Chaletwo greip ekki fyrr inn í og stöðvaði atburðarásina. Þannig að ég er ekki alveg sátt við þennan kafla.Reply: Hún drap hann ekki. Pokémonbardagar enda venjulega þegar annar pokémoninn er meðvitundarlaus, og að því leyti var þetta nokkuð venjulegur pokémonbardagi. Hins vegar var engin ástæða til að berjast við hann til að byrja með, sem er einmitt punkturinn í þessari senu - hann var sofandi þangað til hún byrjaði að skipa Charizard að ráðast á hann. May fær útrás fyrir stress og reiði í gegnum ofbeldi (sem er líka ástæðan fyrir að lýsingin á bardaganum er óvenjulega ofbeldisfull). Henni hefur liðið frekar ömurlega og þegar hún finnur þennan pokémon þarna í stað drekanna sem þau eru að leita að er það fyrsta sem henni dettur í hug að vilja ráðast á hann.
Plottið er fáránlega flókið, en ef það er eitthvað ákveðið sem þú skilur ekki getur þú spurt.
[05/29/2014 17:41:16]
Happy
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
I just spent a good portion of my night refreshing myself on the last ten or so chapters instead of doing all my university assignments, so, I feel like the least I can do is comment to have something to show for it.
It's occurring to me now that tqftl - and indeed tcod as a whole - has been an absolutely formative presence throughout my internet life - which is, well, way to make both of us feel old, right! And I've thoroughly enjoyed the pleasant surprise of having a new chapter every now and again; it'll have been a long journey for some people, that's for sure, but for me it's only been the nights spent in unexpected glee.
But I think this is the first time I've read so many bits and pieces together (and even then it doesn't scratch the surface of a full reread), and I have to say it's an incredible difference to experience it all at once. :) The atmosphere and themes just rise like a tidal wave: that overwhelming sense of everyone in a world that's too big for them, that more and more they're challenging forces that could never be controlled, and they keep struggling through it anyway because that's all there's left to do. I'm a huge fan of reinterpretations of these kiddy stories in particular, taking the naiivete of youth and pitting it against the universe - I read tragically little fanfiction these days, so that sort of "grimdark"-sounding stuff must be common - but I feel like there's something different to yours… like, what I've read has this taste of edge, whereas I'd think of yours more as numb? That sounds pretty bad too; what I mean is, it's not about that shock-cynicism, but instead letting a cold world speak for itself. It's a very lovecraftian angle to take it (maybe? I shouldn't be bandying around authors I haven't read) - and maybe I just love it because we may have similar tastes (evidenced in that I chose to start from 53+), but there you are.
This chapter has been by far the highlight of this reading session; it flips from Mark's numb passivity that's characterised most of the fic, into a character that's immediately so different - and that explosion of rage and self-hate has never been more effective. It's clear your writing style keeps improving over the years too, I think; you've employed fantastic use of the unsaid, and May is the perfect vessel for that. The fighting is great! The beartic, in contrast with Dragoreen, where she's rendered helpless. You've fed us her sheer addiction to power & violence with every movement, and it really is scary to feel that - moreso when it denies her any reprieve.
(Ooh, also, I enjoyed the gender moment! With recent years à la tumblr I've been waiting for someone who could show and not tell it, and I'm very happy to see where it's gone with you. I'm also trying to be conservative about Robin's fan-ism, because I swear I will not project romance onto eleven-year-olds, but I love that you sent that crashing as well.)
And all of that may appear to be a ridiculous amount of over-reading for a fanfiction (lit studies decided to crash into the room), but I feel like it's worth it, because it's not about pokemon anymore - it's about you, as an author, and the themes that you bring into your works. I feel like it's no coincidence your major, most accomplished fics have shown this internal consistency; and should you move into your original ideas someday, I have full faith that I will enjoy it just as much! I look forward to the day! And of course, I look forward to the years I can watch this proof of concept move to completion :)Reply: This review makes me so happy like you wouldn't even believe. Thanks so much for reading and telling me your thoughts - it is incredibly helpful to know what readers are thinking with this level of depth. I'm thrilled you've enjoyed how the story has developed and hope you enjoy the continuation.
[05/15/2014 12:37:36]
LKWayvern
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
Just love how you casually throw in Fairy Types, like 'Yeah, they've totally existed all this time, we just never bumped into any before.'
Stopping the story now to make a big fuss over a new Type being discovered is a little foolish, so I like how you did it here!
Also… The similarities between Robin's Luxray, and my FC X the Luxray… they just keep increasing…
[05/14/2014 03:45:04]
SilverLatios47
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
Robin is awesome, and May's perspective is very rewarding; every bit of her development just makes me love her more.
[05/14/2014 01:21:32]
Pages: 1