The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)

This is an author's commentary intended for readers who have already read the entire ILCOE. My retrospective comments on the chapter are in bold below, with some remarks within the text and then some overall thoughts at the bottom. The commentary will contain significant spoilers! Do not read the commentary on your first read-through!

Chapter 6: The Mammal, the Monster and the Mental Change

And it's the longest chapter title in the fic, discounting the prefixes of the titled arcs! This title really sticks out, particularly the weird use of these epithets for the sake of alliteration (the mammal and the monster are Eevee and Gyarados), and the "mental change" bit just doesn't make any sense unless you happen to remember some of the particular phrasing used in this one scene early in the previous chapter. The working title of the IALCOTN's unfinished equivalent was just "Rick", although that makes me kind of curious since Rick doesn't actually appear in this chapter - I wonder if I was planning to cut Rick's irrelevant junior trainers? That would've made sense.

Mark walked silently with his Pokémon towards the city. He was still afraid of what he held in his Pokéball, attached to his own belt.

This Gyarados was strange. Too strange. The more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable he felt. Yet, Gyarados was more likely to be dangerous to him if he attempted to release him. Mark was stuck in an odd situation – and perhaps a serious one at that, if the sea monster would wreck something. He found it absurd that a few minutes earlier, he had been thinking “It can barely hurt, can it?” Of course it could hurt. It was a Gyarados. What if he went berserk at the Pokémon center or something?

“Uh, Mark?” Charmander asked carefully.

“What?” Mark replied, snapping out of his thoughts.

“We’re here,” the lizard pointed out.

“Oh,” said Mark stupidly, looking around. They were in front of the Pokémon Center again; it looked somehow safer in the dark with the fluorescent lighting of the roof, made to help trainers find it.

It's a little maddening how I managed to capitalize Pokémon Center here but not a few paragraphs before. I've always been a huge stickler for consistency, so it's bizarrely unlike me to not be able to settle on one even within the same chapter - I must have just not noticed, but it's really hard to imagine. What was going on here, fourteen-year-old brain?

Stepping inside to be greeted by the warmth, Mark noticed that there were still quite a few trainers sitting in the red sofas, tapping their feet or just staring into the air in a kind of a trance while their Pokémon got healed. Mark imagined how it must be to wait anxiously for the nurse to try to heal a severely injured Pokémon, not knowing if it would live or die… he would never, ever let Charmander get hurt so much again. He would rather give up.

He walked with Charmander on his heels across the room, and to the desk, where the red-haired nurse was currently standing, waiting for more patients.

“Good evening. You’re out late,” she said in her trademark soft voice.

“Hi, I’d like to have my three Pokémon treated overnight,” Mark said.

“I don’t think that’s necessary…” Charmander began, but Mark just picked him up and put him on the desk, looking him in the eyes.

“That Potion was just temporary,” he explained. “You’re still worn-out after the battle and the cuts haven’t fully healed; it would be better if you stayed here for the night. You’d have to be inside your Pokéball, anyway, since I doubt the hotel would allow a Pokémon with a flame on its tail to sleep in one of their rooms.”

Charmander shrugged. “Well, guess it’s best, then. See you tomorrow.”

Charmander, stick up for yourself! Don't just immediately agree to whatever Mark says! You can at least sound like you're actually changing your mind and not just giving in because you don't want to argue.

Mark nodded, touched his lizard lightly with the Pokéball and he was dissolved into red energy and sucked into the ball. Plucking the two other occupied spheres from his Pokéball belt, he handed them to the nurse.

“Come back tomorrow for them,” she said, smiling. Mark felt alone as he walked out of the Pokémon Center.

-------

He came to the hotel. A few of its windows were still illuminated from the inside, but most were dark. All the Pokémon trainers the hotel was usually full of were either at the Pokémon center, out trying to catch nocturnal Pokémon or they had gone to bed already, hoping to start the next day early.

Mark entered quietly, going up the stairs to his room. Just like it had been odd when Charmander first went into his Pokéball, it was odd when he was being treated at the Pokémon Center.

But you're literally always recalling him, Mark.

Mark sighed, and couldn’t wait to retrieve his partners next day.

-------

“Here are your Pokémon. Eevee is still inside, sleeping. I have a concern about your Gyarados, though…”

Mark was in the Cleanwater city Pokémon Center after a breakfast at the hotel, getting his Pokémon back. It was rather early in the morning, and currently Mark was the only trainer there.

“What is it?” Mark asked, worried. Had Gyarados attacked somebody? Wrecked the healing machine?

“He suffers from severe lack of nutrition,” the nurse explained. “What have you been feeding him, anyway?”

“Nothing,” said Mark truthfully. “I just got him.”

“I figured that had to be it,” said Nurse Joy, nodding thoughtfully. “Your other Pokémon aren’t underfed at all, so it seemed sort of odd that you would starve him.”

“What can I do about it?” asked Mark concernedly. Maybe that was why Gyarados wanted to get out of the lake? Just to eat? No, he had talked about getting out of Suicune’s reach…

“I fed him very nicely,” said the nurse, smiling. “After eating, he even said – in English, mind you; that’s quite some Pokémon you got! – that I was the second-nicest human in the world, after you.” She giggled.

Well, that's weirdly mushy for Gyarados.

I can't believe the nurse hears a Gyarados speaking perfect English and just goes "Oh, cool! :D". Your vocal cords are not supposed to work that way. At the absolute least, the fact Mark just told her he only just caught him should make this sound extremely strange: why would a wild Gyarados be able to speak human?

“Huh? After me?” Mark was puzzled; he hadn’t thought Gyarados liked him so much just because he brought him to a Pokémon Center.

“Yes. You must have earned his respect very well; most Gyarados are quite overwhelmed by their power when they evolve and are some of the most arrogant, impolite Pokémon you’ll ever see – he isn’t like that at all.”

“Well, that’s good,” Mark said, brightening up. To think of it… Gyarados would actually obey and be his strongest Pokémon…

This is such a non-Pokémon-are-people way of thinking. He'll obey! Who cares why he was starving or what his issues with Suicune are about so long as he'll battle, right?

It's also pretty annoying that Mark learns this second-hand from the nurse instead of by actually talking to Gyarados himself. I may have just not wanted to bother with the logistics of it - getting Gyarados into reasonably deep water every time he was going to be out was a frequent headache throughout the fic - or to keep Gyarados's backstory for chapter 27, but one way or another this is just the less interesting way to do this, and it's dismaying that Mark isn't more interested.

“Anyway, shouldn’t we wake Eevee?” the nurse suggested, gesturing for him to follow her. They walked into the room at the back; it was all dark blue and seemed cold, very unlike the warm, fluffy pink and red of the waiting room. In a cardboard box with blankets in standing on a table, Mark saw the furred creature he had found the day before, fast asleep and content, with his thick tail wrapped around his body.

“Eevee,” Nurse Joy said sweetly, “time to wake up.”

She gently reached down and touched the Pokémon’s fur carefully. Eevee stirred, licked her hand friendly and then opened his gleaming brown eyes. He noticed Mark with an expression of curiosity and, unless Mark was very much mistaken, some level of gratefulness.

I'm so charmed by this use of "friendly" as an adverb.

It's pretty strange that Eevee's instantly grateful to him, seeing as Eevee was unconscious for the actual rescuing; presumably what he remembers is just some human yelling and scaring him half to death. I guess Nurse Joy explained to him that a boy with a Charmander brought him in and he put two and two together, but I'd still expect him to be a lot more wary than this.

“Remember me?” asked Mark slowly, offering his hand. Eevee carefully reached up with his nose, sniffing his fingers, then stroked his head up to his hand. Mark started scratching him behind his ear; Eevee gave a soft “vee” and then started licking his hand too. Mark looked up at Nurse Joy; she was smiling.

“He’s really friendly and trusting; he will probably be a good Pokémon for you if he wants that. I haven’t mentioned it; perhaps you should explain the situation now.”

“OK…” Mark started nervously, withdrawing his hand as to keep Eevee unbiased. “Erm… Eevee, do you have a home?”

The Pokémon’s ears dropped as he shook his head sadly.

“Would you like me to… take you with me?”

Eevee instantly nodded excitedly.

“And… um… I’m a Pokémon trainer, you see…”

“Vii?” asked the small Pokémon, tilting his head.

If Eevee has no idea what Pokémon trainers even are, why would he instantly be so excited to go with Mark? Sure, he saved him, but Eevee has literally no idea what coming with him is going to entail.

“Don’t you know what a Pokémon trainer is?”

Eevee shook his head and looked up at Mark curiously.

“That’s a person who… er, keeps Pokémon inside little balls, like these.” Mark removed Charmander and Sandshrew’s Pokéballs from his belt and showed them to Eevee, minimized.

Obviously the best point to start your explanation of Pokémon training with.

“See, then you can make them inflate, like this…”

Mark pressed the buttons and the spheres instantly maximized into battle-size. Eevee started, taking a small jump backwards inside the box. Mark laughed.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. Come on, the balls won’t bite.”

Eevee carefully touched the cold, metallic surface of Charmander’s ball with the tip of his nose. He shivered, apparently still finding that thing a bit creepy, but with a small nod he confirmed his acceptance of the Pokéballs.

“Okay, now, don’t be scared…” Mark carefully dropped the balls into Eevee’s box; they both opened and the two Pokémon formed in red light beside Eevee before the balls bounced right back into Mark’s palms.

This was something Eevee clearly found a lot harder to accept, which was no more than Mark had expected; his eyes widened from the shock of seeing two Pokémon materialize from thin air right beside him. Eevee pressed himself against the wall of the box, moaning nervously as he covered his eyes with his long ears. Charmander and Sandshrew looked confusedly around; Charmander soon realized what was going on, carefully bent down to Eevee’s level and cautiously lifted one of his ears from his face. A terrified eye half-opened, then shut again as the Pokémon forced its ear back down. Sandshrew curiously poked Eevee’s thick, soft mane; Charmander started to pat Eevee’s back reassuringly.

Okay, this is pretty cute.

“It’s all right,” Mark said quietly, now placing his hand carefully on the scared Pokémon’s head. “Look.” He brushed Eevee’s ears away, and pointed both Pokéballs at the Pokémon they belonged to; Charmander and Sandshrew both dissolved into red light as they shot back into the balls.

“Now,” Mark began explaining as Eevee started to calm down, “a Pokémon trainer carries Pokémon in balls like these, and when he sees a Pokémon or another trainer, he uses his Pokémon to battle.”

This was back when I used "he" as a generic pronoun because that's what I'd read was correct. It's really jarring now that I'm an ardent proponent of singular they.

Eevee looked expectantly up at him, waiting to hear more.

“He sends out his Pokémon from the balls – only one at a time – and they battle the other Pokémon or trainer’s Pokémon. If his Pokémon are getting too hurt, he will recall them back into the ball. A Pokémon trainer will always heal his Pokémon as soon as possible when they are hurt, and make sure they get plenty of food and never suffer permanent injuries.”

Mark had never in his life thought about what Pokémon training actually was – yet now, he was telling it to an innocent, young Pokémon that hadn’t had a mother for long enough to learn about these things. It felt odd.

“Then…” Mark’s voice was trembling for some reason, “… the trainer… well, usually… becomes really close to the Pokémon – a type of friend who takes really good care of them and loves them like his own siblings... and usually, the Pokémon will feel like that too…”

Eevee’s shiny, big eyes still looked happily up at Mark’s deep green ones; he took a deep breath before asking the final question.

“So… will you… do you want me to train you? Don’t think about what I want, just what you want. Do you want to be released back into the wild where you can continue your life, or do you want to… come with me and I’ll be your trainer?”

Hot pulse throbbed in Mark’s neck with every beat of his heart; they sounded unnaturally loud now as the boy and the Pokémon stared deep into each other’s eyes; nothing could be read from either’s expression.

“Veee!” Eevee finally said happily, nodding and placing his forepaws in Mark’s hands. He picked the Pokémon carefully up, unable to believe he actually had an Eevee now. The fluffy Pokémon emitted some sort of a purr, digging his nose into Mark’s face.

“Eevee…” Mark started in a muffled voice because of the fur covering his mouth, “if you’re going to be my Pokémon, you need to go into a Pokéball.”

“Vee?” the Pokémon questioned. Not having very good control of Pokémon’s complicated language due to young age, he managed to get his meaning across, but not word for word.

“Yes, see, sometimes I can’t carry you with me otherwise. Pokéballs are nice, just like a luxury room with everything you need, you’ll even feel all dreamy and comfortable, and when you’re sent out, you’ll be refreshed, just like you were sleeping.” Mark knew this in fact because that time he had discussed Pokémon rights with a Vulpix in a Pokémonish test, one of the things they had talked about was whether it was right to capture Pokémon in Pokéballs, and Vulpix, who was pro-Pokéballs, had described to him what Pokéballs were like.

Why is this an actual debate that's being had, though. We can debate what's moral in general when it comes to animal rights because animals can't speak for themselves, but the Pokémon are right there. Surely the answer is "Pokéballs are bad if and only if the Pokémon in question does not want to be in one"?

Mark phrases this like training is going to mean Eevee has to be carried in a ball all the time, and it must be fine because Vulpix said so, but I'm pretty sure what he was actually supposed to be getting at here was just that Eevee has to go into a Pokéball to be registered to him, and it might be necessary later - I was just bad at conveying it.

“Vui,” said Eevee skeptically, glancing at the Pokéballs Mark had replaced at his belt. Finally he looked up at Mark, seemingly still a bit scared of the balls. Mark took one of his empty balls and touched Eevee lightly with it; the Pokémon dissolved into red light and was drawn into the ball.

Mark waited a few seconds; the ball stood quite still in his hand, meaning that at least Eevee wasn’t trying to break out of it.

He dropped the ball into the box again; a beam of red energy burst out of it and took shape into Eevee. He looked quickly around, realized that he was back in the box and then accepted the Pokéball with a small nod.

“Great,” said Mark, still not believing what was happening. Him, with an Eevee!

I'm still enjoying that while Mark's very carefully making sure Eevee makes his own decision, internally he's like OMG AN EEVEE.

That being said, that really shouldn't be the entirety of his thoughts on this. Anything about accepting the responsibility of raising a young Pokémon who doesn't understand training? No?

“Will you come into the Pokéball now, then?” he asked upon realization that Eevee was waiting for him to say something else. The Pokémon thought a bit, but then nodded, smiling. Mark recalled Eevee into the Pokéball, convinced that he was the luckiest person alive.

“Erm… thanks, Nurse Joy,” Mark muttered, not sure what to say. She just smiled. “It’s Eevee who’s going to come with you, thank him.”

“Wow,” he just breathed.

Supporting my case that Mark did not actually mean Eevee has to be carried in a Pokéball all the time, he asks if Eevee wants to go into the ball now, and presumably would have just carried him or had him walk beside him if he'd said no. Obviously I didn't actually want to deal with Pokémon being outside their balls all the time, though (they'd have to be characters!), so Eevee's good with the ball despite being scared of them earlier.

Back in the pre-HMMRCIG versions, getting Eevee was a lot simpler for Mark: the nurse just healed him at the desk when he first brought him in and then handed him over. Mark then belatedly asked him about being his trainer a little later, after Charmander and Eevee had already gone around town and found the gym for him, in a brief interaction that clearly became the inspiration for this whole scene:

“Okay, good. But Eevee, are you... do you want to be... my pokémon? You know, do you want me to be your trainer, if you’ve lost your mother?”

“Eeee!” Eevee nodded and licked Mark’s hand.

“All right then. You will need to go into that ball.” Mark held out a pokéball, and Eevee turned into a red beam of light that disappeared into the ball.

Annoyingly enough, immediately after this, Mark offers Charmander a Pokéball but Charmander says he doesn't like them and Mark accepts it and lets him just stay outside the ball. (When Charmander evolves into Charmeleon, though, he stopped minding being in a Pokéball.)

“So, where are you headed now?” asked Nurse Joy kindly.

“The Gym,” Mark said, still staring at the Pokéball in his hand.

“Good luck, then. You’ll need it,” were Nurse Joy’s warning words before Mark left the building.

Absent-mindedly, he walked out of the Pokémon Center, noticing that he was getting used to having his Pokémon inside Pokéballs. The sun was shining now; the stormy clouds from the day before had drifted away overnight and now the sky was clear.

He wandered around a bit, looking for the Pokémon Gym, but once he found it, he was surprised he hadn’t figured that huge yellow building with the glass dome roof he could always see behind the other houses had to be the Gym.

Wow, I'd completely forgotten I ever described the gym this way. Good thing I didn't set chapter 75 in the gym and contradict the hell out of this.

The door was odd; it was round and shaped like a Pokéball lying on the side. The button that would normally maximize the ball said “PRESS”. When Mark nervously pushed it with his hand, the two halves of the door separated and moved to the sides with a rumbling noise. Mark carefully stepped inside; he heard the door slide back into place behind him.

Now there was no turning back. He took a deep breath and walked forward, through a second gateway; the entrance room was just empty for whatever reason.

He was on a Pokémon battle arena, that was certain, and an overwhelmingly huge one at that. The glass dome was three times as high as the ceiling in a regular house, and the room had all the features a standard battle arena had to have; a large pool on the right side that was obviously intended for Water Pokémon, and the way the floor was marked had a very clear meaning. Just ahead of him was the red-painted box he was supposed to stand in. He nervously took his place; a trainer stood up from a bench at the other end and stepped into the box at his end. Mark found his clothes very odd: a cap that seemed too big for his head, a jacket and shorts, all bright neon green.

“Hey, you have to battle me first, Rick will only take on the best of the best,” the boy called in an extremely monotone, boring, politician-like voice.

“I wasn’t going anywhere!” Mark shouted back. The trainer ignored it.

This dude is just a G/S/C Camper - I distinctly remember that exact sprite being my mental image of him. Why does Rick have a Camper junior trainer? Who knows. I do kind of like that he's saying what sounds distinctly like actual junior trainer in-game dialogue, in a way that clearly suggests it's a scripted line he's supposed to say.

Monotone and boring isn't what I'd associate with politicians' voices today - they're generally supposed to be decent public speakers! - but Mark is eleven and I'm sure anyone talking about politics would be inherently boring to him, so I can let that one slide. After all, the description of his voice originates in the Good Battle Style: “Go! Arcanine!” the other trainer said. He had a very boring voice, exactly the type a stereotypical politician has. I definitely thought all politics was extremely boring when I was twelve.

“Three on three, ready, go, Articuno.”

The boy hurled forward a black and red Pokéball with as much power as he could; it burst open in mid-air, releasing Mark’s second favorite Pokémon, and bounced back to the trainer.

A smooth, peaceful-sounding cry of “a-ar” emitted from the magnificent, parrot-like icy blue bird as it circled the middle of its own half of the arena, dragging a darker blue, wavy tail feather after its body. Swooping gracefully down every now and then but pulling up again, the Legendary Pokémon loyally awaited its trainer’s orders. It pained Mark to think that the Pokéball had brainwashed his second favorite Pokémon like that – thankfully just a clone.

Mark hesitated, but then decided that sending out Charmander would be worth the risk. He blindly reached for the Pokéball and threw it forward. The ball popped open upon impact with the floor and sent out the lizard.

“Mander!” he growled, assuming a battle stance and glaring at the Articuno, focusing. Mark could figure out what was going through his Pokémon’s head; the last time he had been put up against a Pokémon he was supposed to have an advantage over, he had lost. He wasn’t going to go down a second time.

“Charmander, be ready to dodge!”

The lizard nodded, still concentrating on his opponent.

“Articuno, Powder Snow,” said the junior trainer in his monotone voice.

The Legendary bird’s eyes closed as it glowed white; the room cooled gradually as every flap of its wings and every wave of the long tail feather started emitting flurries of snow which flew straight at Charmander. Mark shivered as the cold wind blew in his face. Even before he opened his mouth to issue a command, Charmander seemed to read his mind and breathed a tongue of flames at the snow, melting and boiling it instantly and leaving Charmander unharmed.

The junior trainer swore loudly, still in the monotone voice, and then ordered: “Articuno, Gust.”

Instantly, the magnificent bird started flapping its wings in Charmander’s direction instead of up and down, and also faster and faster. In a remarkably short time, a strong gust of wind powered up and sent both Mark and Charmander flying into the wall.

“Sorry,” said the junior trainer, not sounding it. “Peck!”

The Articuno clone immediately dived down with a cry of “Aaaarti!”, heading straight towards Charmander. Mark had no time to think, but luckily Charmander spat out a blast of flames by instinct just as the bird was about to hit him. For a second Articuno was on fire, and unfortunately that was the exact second when its beak smashed into Charmander’s belly so that he was thrown harshly backwards; but when the flames died, the Legendary bird crashed clumsily on the ground.

Stretching out both of its wings, Articuno’s icy feathers were clearly dripping with water as it withered in pain; Charmander stood heavily up and despite hating to do this to a Pokémon he loved so much, Mark made a final command:

“Finish it with another Ember!”

Articuno was helplessly trying to take off, but failing. Charmander fired another cloud of flames which enveloped the Legendary Pokémon; when it cleared, Articuno lay in a pool of water on the floor, defeated.

There's something just inescapably comical about a legendary Pokémon being singularly defeated by a tiny Charmander. It's really hard to take this gym seriously because of this, I think; I meant for the fact the first gym had legendaries!! to make it extra-intimidating, but ultimately it's just kind of silly.

The junior trainer grumpily recalled the half-melted bird.

“Go, finish off that overgrown salamander.”

He threw forward another Pokéball, black with glowing red stripes like the previous one. Out of it came spiky-feathered Legendary bird that Mark recognized immediately as Zapdos.

It opened its long beak as the pitch-black and shocking yellow thunderbird ascended through the air, letting out an electrical cry of “Dooos!”

“Charmander, quick, uh…”

Mark didn’t have the time to make an order; Zapdos fiercely flapped its wings without a command and released a bolt of lightning which shot down and hit Charmander. He screamed in pain, then went stiff and fell down to the floor like a stone statue.

“Charmander! Are you all right?” asked Mark worriedly. Since there was no response, he was forced to recall his Pokémon and wait until he would be able to heal him.

“Go, Sandshrew!” Mark did this without much thought; Sandshrew seemed like the obvious one since he was a Ground Pokémon and therefore immune to Electric attacks, but immediately after the yellowish brown armadillo materialized on the floor, he realized how foolish a decision it had been; Sandshrew wouldn’t be able to harm Zapdos either unless it came near enough for him to scratch it.

Mark still has never talked to Sandshrew, at all. Man, he's really getting the short end of the stick here; Eevee gets a huge chunk of the chapter to himself, but Sandshrew just gets no attention whatsoever.

“Drill peck,” said the junior trainer dully. Immediately, the thunderbird let out another cry towards Sandshrew as it prepared to dive.

“Sandshrew, Defense curl!” Mark ordered quickly, that being just about the only thing he could do. The armadillo Pokémon locked tightly up in a knot in an amazingly short time; Mark quickly looked up to watch Zapdos again. The spiky bird now started spinning like a drill in mid-air and then dove towards Sandshrew at high speed, jabbing him with its beak. The curled-up Sandshrew rolled like a soccer ball from the impact; Mark automatically blocked the path with his foot. Immediately, the armadillo uncurled, seemingly unharmed, and focused on Zapdos again, although, as Mark couldn’t help noticing, with a complete lack of determination.

Incredibly awkward wording aside, it's sort of interesting that I did this whole thing with how resigned and apathetic Sandshrew is, but thanks to the lack of actual interaction with him, it has to come out like this in the middle of a battle. The IALCOTN actually just had them talk.

Zapdos swooped down again without an order. Likewise, Sandshrew curled up without Mark having the time to say anything. This time, though, Sandshrew rolled himself powerfully out of the way. Zapdos barely avoided crashing, pulled up and was clearly getting ticked off by now. With yet another electrified “Do-o-os”, the thunderbird started zooming back and forth near the ceiling, gaining speed as it went and soon turning into a blurred streak of yellow and black before it lunged down at Sandshrew again. The armadillo Pokémon didn’t have time to curl up again, and being stabbed with Zapdos’ long, spear-like beak in his vulnerable white underbelly was too much. Letting out a piercing cry, Sandshrew was thrown a bit backwards, but then collapsed, his chest bleeding disturbingly much.

The clones are showing a lot more original initiative here than they ought to, what with the brainwashing aspect.

“Oh God,” Mark muttered, still unable to do anything about it but just recall the Pokémon and hope he would be all right. Now it was facing the next problem.

Mark automatically grabbed Eevee’s Pokéball, but hesitated. Eevee was so young, and had immediately started to trust him out of childish innocence. How could he let Eevee get as badly injured as Charmander and Sandshrew?

He couldn’t.

It's nice that Mark actually has this thought - he does have a sense of responsibility towards Eevee! Still not nearly as concerned about Sandshrew and the whole disturbing bleeding as one would expect, though.

His hand moved to Gyarados’ ball, plucked it off his Pokéball belt, and threw it at the pool, biting his lip. Sending out a Gyarados against an Electric Pokémon? He had to be going crazy.

Gyarados took shape out of the red light as Mark’s Pokéball bounced back into his hand. An intimidating roar sounded from the sea monster, visibly unnerving even the Legendary Pokémon.

“Thunderbolt,” said the junior trainer, smirking. Zapdos prepared to do the same thing as on Charmander, but the most that happened were a few sparks that shot between its wing feathers.

“Dos!” growled the Legendary with a hint of annoyance, attempting to charge up electricity again. Mark’s mind raced. Zapdos was probably tired after the battle with Sandshrew; did Gyarados perhaps have a chance?

“Dragon rage!” Mark roared. Gyarados raised his head and, letting out another ear-splitting roar, he fired a jet of crimson red, dark flames from his mouth.

The blast hit Zapdos powerfully. The bird stayed in the air for a second, stiff; then with a weak “dos…” it fell to the floor. A smile broke out on Mark’s face; Dragon rage was a very, very powerful attack at this stage of his journey, because it always hurt exactly as much, completely independent on the user’s strength or any kind of weaknesses and resistances. That meant that the attack’s outcome depended purely on the victim’s ability to endure pain – a weak, inexperienced Pokémon, such as most of the ones he was facing now, would therefore fall unconscious from being subjected to it once. He was just remembering this now – some of Mrs. Grodski’s classes appeared to have sunk in after all.

He grinned. He would sweep this Gym’s floors with Legendaries, all on account of Gyarados’ Dragon rage attack.

This is delightfully gamey. It actually looks like I didn't have Mark abuse Dragon Rage in the pre-HMMRCIG revisions - probably because then he was just a normal Gyarados, and Gyarados didn't learn Dragon Rage until level 25, while here I liberally had him know it early because special dragon powers. I do like that I try to explain the in-game mechanic in more reasonable terms - but it undeniably feels really cheap to make this actually work here. Having Mark realize he can easily cream this whole gym is just very obviously counterproductive to creating actual tension or excitement.

I've always liked the references to Mrs. Grodski's classes peppered throughout the battles in this fic; I suppose I wrote it in here because I was having Mark explain a battling-related thing in the narration and the first chapter was still fresh in my memory, and it created a precedent that probably enabled all the rest.

“Zapdos, return,” said the junior trainer dully, holding the Pokéball forward and recalling the battered bird. “Go… Moltres…”

From the junior trainer’s expression and even duller tone in these words, he was also well aware of how powerful Dragon rage was against such low-leveled Pokémon. He threw the Pokéball with less enthusiasm than before; the golden phoenix that was the third and last of the Legendary birds of Kanto burst out of it in a flash of red light.

“Mooool!” the swan-like bird cried, smoothly ascending into the air and leaving a trail of flames behind from its fiery wings and tail. When it was just slightly below the ceiling, the bird shook its head powerfully, the fire that rested atop its head blazing up and adding to the powerful image of the Legendary. Moltres flapped its flaming wings slowly, focusing on Gyarados with keen eyes, ready to take an order.

“Another Dragon rage!” Mark called, slightly nervously; what if it wouldn’t work? Gyarados immediately released a blast of crimson fire from his mouth again, but with the grace of only a Legendary, the phoenix dived down, evading the attack with ease.

“Oh man,” Mark murmured, gritting his teeth. “That thing can dodge.”

“Glow,” said the junior trainer. Mark scanned through his head, not remembering any attack called that, as he watched Moltres start to glow bright white. Suddenly something clunked into place, and Mark realized that this was the preparation for a Sky attack.

“Gyarados – Dragon rage!” he commanded desperately, hoping that the sea monster would be quick enough to get the hit in. Unfortunately, just as Gyarados started forming the dragon flames in his throat, Moltres’ glowing swan shape shot towards the huge monster at amazing speed, its beak stabbing Gyarados right where two plates of his deep blue armor met; the exact place where he was vulnerable.

With a terrible roar, the sea monster screwed his eyes shut, flailing around in pain with the no longer glowing Moltres still stuck with its beak between two enormous plates of armor. Interestingly enough, Gyarados’ size was such that he managed to splash enough water at the phoenix to almost put out its fire. A high-pitched screech was heard from the Legendary bird as it tried to flutter away while Gyarados retained his balance.

“And now, quickly, another Dragon rage!” Mark blurted out.

Being wet clearly slowed Moltres down considerably, since as the bird tried to fly out of the way, Gyarados managed to fire yet another blast of crimson flames, hitting this time. Moltres fell unconscious in mid-air and dropped limply to the ground.

“Wow,” Mark muttered to himself as the junior trainer resentfully recalled his last Pokémon. “That’s got to be the only time in history a battle was won on account of Splash.”

In the original and UMR, Mark actually orders Gyarados to use Splash here:

“Gyarados, I know it sounds stupid, but – Splash!”

Gyarados started to laugh, that is, to roar wildly between catching his breath. The other trainer also laughed. Even the Moltres’s glow was flashing, like it wasn’t concentrating. Finally, even Mark started to laugh.

“No, really, Gyarados, use Splash!” he choked in the end.

“Gyar...” Gyarados said lousily and tried to look like a Magikarp. Actually, he did pretty well in looking stupid. What Gyarados didn’t realize was that being big and heavy, Splash actually had some effect, namely making them all wet, including Moltres. And a wet Fire pokémon usually faints. Which was exactly what happened.

“Moltres, return,” the trainer said, his voice sounding even worse than normally.

There, this was the only attack used in this fight - Moltres literally goes down in one hit from Splash. I think I did a basically reasonable job here at keeping this bit (which is admittedly creative and amusing, so I can see why I wanted to keep it) while making it a bit less ridiculous; he doesn't literally use Splash, just incidentally throws some water around when hit, and the main thing that does is just slow it down so an actual attack will hit it. But of course, this just makes it even harder to take this gym seriously in any way.

The junior trainer took a small thing that looked like a car key out of his pocket, pressing a button on it. The Pokéball-shaped door on the other end of the arena slid open with a rumbling noise. The trainer pointed lousily over his shoulder with his thumb and then walked up to the bench again, sitting grumpily down with crossed arms. Mark nervously walked towards the door, but then stopped.

“Can I go back? I need to heal my Pokémon,” he asked the trainer, feeling a sting of guilt for having almost forgotten how injured Charmander and Sandshrew were.

“You don’t need to, there’s a nurse just beyond the door,” the junior trainer muttered, still sulking.

Mark walked through the round doorway; it immediately closed after him. As the junior trainer had said, a blond-haired woman in a white uniform waited just by the entrance, clutching a Pocket Healer in her hands.

“Good morning,” she said politely with a small bow. “Would you like me to heal your Pokémon?”

“Er, yeah… thank you,” Mark said, carefully handing her the Pokéballs. She gave a tiny nod, placing one ball at a time into the Pocket Healer and pressing the heal button.

“Done,” she said, smiling, as she handed the balls back to Mark. He thanked her and then went on to the battle arena, which was identical to the previous one. This time around, however, the trainer wore red clothes with white linings on them, had bushy, purple hair, and was already standing in his square, grinning broadly with a scary glare of enthusiasm.

And this one's a FR/LG Cooltrainer.

“Three on three,” he said in a loud, clear voice with a British accent, holding one of those black and red Pokéballs. “Go, Raikou!”

The Pokéball released a huge tiger-like Pokémon, yellow in color. Its unnaturally long claws and fangs combined with the fact that its face was all hidden made it look scary; a black triangular plate covered the forehead and nose, four metallic-looking whiskers spread out from the front of its muzzle, and creamy white tufts of fur handled the sides of the head.

Mark had never been that much of a Raikou fan compared to the other Legendaries, but he found a certain grace in the way the tiger’s muscles tightened under the black-striped skin and the absolute determination in its red eyes, the only visible parts of the face. Unsurely, he grabbed hold of Sandshrew’s ball. Raikou was very well capable of using Crunch and other non-Electric attacks, and Sandshrew didn’t know any Ground attacks.

Raikou is one of my own favorite legendaries, but I went out of my way to give Mark his own taste in Pokémon in the HMMRCIG, so I made a point of mentioning how much he loves Lugia and doesn't particularly like Raikou.

But it wasn’t like Charmander or Eevee would do much better, and letting Gyarados get beat at the first Pokémon that was sent out would be suicide. He made his decision.

“Sandshrew, go!” he shouted, throwing forward the Pokéball. As it bounced off the ground, it released the armadillo Pokémon in a flash of red. Sandshrew didn’t appear to be a fan of Raikou either; his eyes opened very wide at the sight of the tiger and then he curled tightly up into a ball, which appeared to be his ideal solution to whatever problems he was facing.

“Raikou, Calm mind!” shouted the junior trainer. The tiger closed its eyes and bowed its head in deep concentration, revealing the then started glowing with a faint lavender aura. After a few seconds of waiting, Raikou raised its head again, its eyes open.

“This won’t do, Sandshrew, Raikou will just use some stat boosters!” Mark said impatiently to the scaly sphere that was supposed to be his Pokémon, poking it with his toe. Sandshrew slowly uncurled, but this was the chance the junior trainer was waiting for; he quickly gave Raikou another order:

“Crunch, now!”

The tiger leapt at Sandshrew before he had the sense to curl up again, and with a roar, it locked its jaws around Sandshrew’s body. The armadillo Pokémon’s arms helplessly flailed around in mid-air; he gave a squeak when Raikou started squeezing its jaws together. A few drops of blood fell to the ground.

“No… Sandshrew, come back,” Mark said limply, holding up the Pokéball so that Sandshrew was absorbed into it. Perhaps Pokémon battling wasn’t the right sport for him…

Wow, good job, Mark. This one really is on you. Maybe if the two of you had actually talked, ever, Sandshrew would feel a little better about fighting proactively.

“Go, er… Charmander.”

Mark still didn’t want to send out Eevee, although he wasn’t sure why he was more ready to let Charmander get hurt.

Well, you kind of touched on that earlier: because Eevee's super-young, trusted you blindly and doesn't even properly know how this works.

The little lizard came out of the ball in a red beam of light, and clearly didn’t like Raikou that much either.

“I’m supposed to battle that?” he whispered in disbelief, flicking his big eyes quickly back at Mark.

“Sorry, Charmander, we have to,” Mark answered with a pained expression. “Just do your best.”

Charmander nodded slowly and said in an odd voice: “Yes. I will.”

I guess Charmander felt better about fighting Articuno because it's an Ice-type?

Immediately after Charmander finished that sentence, the junior trainer gave Raikou a new command:

“Raikou, Spark!”

The thunder tiger started sparkling with electricity and jumped towards the much smaller Fire Pokémon. Charmander leapt to the side with surprising agility and then grabbed hold of Raikou’s jagged, metallic tail. Snarling oddly in a way that wasn’t very much like him, Charmander spat a bit of fire at the tail end. The reactions were immediate; a painful howl came from the Legendary’s mouth at first as its body stiffened, then it started sprinting over the arena in an attempt to shake Charmander off. The lizard held on as well as he could, occasionally breathing flames on the tail end again in order to keep it hot. Mark could see that it was slowly melting.

Finally, Charmander fell off, bouncing once off the floor before landing on his side, seemingly unconscious. The junior trainer desperately tried to tell Raikou to stop running around in circles, but the Pokémon ignored it, putting higher priority on cooling down its tail than finishing the battle. For a few seconds, Mark was worried about Charmander as he didn’t move, but then the small Pokémon stood up with difficulty, looking dizzy and breathing very hard. He started walking towards Mark.

“I… have a headache…” he said weakly, then dropped back on four legs, panting uncontrollably as sweat sprouted on his skin.

Slowly, the little Pokémon started emitting a bright white glow. Mark and the junior trainer both watched, stunned; even Raikou stopped running and turned its head sharply to watch.

“You weren’t going to evolve until later, remember?” Mark said, remembering what they had discussed at the restaurant the previous day. On second thought, that was a stupid thing to say; obviously Charmander had to remember it, but he was in no state to resist the evolution.

Charmander’s now pure white shape was steadily growing larger and bulkier. A small horn grew out of the back of the Pokémon’s head. His muzzle lengthened. Then the growth came to a halt. For a second, the shape was just there emitting a bright aura; then the glow faded revealing a crimson red Charmeleon; bigger, more muscular and dragon-like, but otherwise somewhat similar to Charmander.

A more adult-shaped eye looked at Mark. A weak, deep “Char…” came from the evolved Pokémon, but then his legs collapsed under him and he lay limply on the ground, fainted.

Shaking, Mark held forward a Pokéball. “R-return,” he stammered, his freshly-evolved friend disappearing into a beam of red energy.

It's kind of neat that I had Mark and Charmander discuss evolution, conclude Charmander was going to delay evolving because he doesn't want to turn into a different person, and then he ends up evolving very early anyway because he's too exhausted to stop it. Pokémon evolutions are usually triumphant events that turn things around for the better, but here I made it into this moment of dread and horror, almost, and I like that subversion. (Actually, I just really liked subverting evolution in general - there'll be several variations on that theme as the fic goes on, with Scyther regarding evolution as worse than death, May's Pikachu getting mixed into the Evolution Solution, Letal starting to evolve but failing, and Dragonair evolving only for that to give him a double weakness to the Pokémon they're fighting at the time.) It was also nice to see a troubling complication after Mark's earlier realization that Dragon Rage can pretty much one-shot most of the Pokémon in this gym. Unfortunately, though, I'll then go on to have this very quickly resolved, and Charmeleon's fine with being a Charmeleon now, which defeats the point a bit: the complication isn't much of a real complication, and there are no real consequences that arise from his early evolution.

Back in the pre-HMMRCIG, none of this happened; as I've mentioned before, Charmander was fine with evolving and evolved fighting Gyarados at the Lake of Purity.

Overall, hmm. I... think this chapter is somewhat better than I remembered. I was prepared to cringe for days at that Eevee scene, but it's actually pretty cute - it's cheesy, and very LOOK HOW CUTE EEVEE IS!!, but apart from the awkward "Pokémon trainers are people who carry Pokémon in balls" beginning, Mark's explanation is kind of sweet and sincere (though he really ought to mention that generally Pokémon enjoy battling for sport and that's what they're supposed to get out of this - Eevee's experience of battles has presumably been pretty traumatic, so it probably wouldn't quite go without saying here), and I like how he gently demonstrates how the balls work, makes an effort to ensure Eevee truly makes his own decision even though he really really wants him to come with him, and lets him try the ball for just a moment first and then asks before putting him back in it. This is probably genuinely Mark's best scene so far as far as treating Pokémon with real consideration goes, and it was also cute to see the Pokémon interacting a little with one another.

There are still several issues with that scene, though. Why is Eevee just acting happy and completely over the likely death of his mom now, after it was causing him so much angst back in chapter three? Why didn't Nurse Joy explain training to Eevee before bringing Mark in there? Why is Eevee immediately so enthusiastic about Mark, to the point of eagerly wanting to come with him before he even learns what that means? Why has Mark never thought about what Pokémon training actually is far enough to think any of the stuff he explains here, none of which should be in any way revolutionary?

I never got there in the IALCOTN, but for a while I was planning to have the Eevee thing play out quite differently. Rather than having this conversation with Eevee, there were supposed to be rules about how this sort of thing is handled, where the Pokémon is sent somewhere it'll be taken care of before it's put up for adoption (or presumably released). While usually Mark wouldn't even know where Eevee would end up (I think this was meant to be some kind of measure against trainers deliberately beating wild Pokémon unconscious and then bringing them to a Pokémon Center to adopt them? Although I don't see why the Pokémon wouldn't be capable of calling that out on their own), Mark was supposed to have a conversation with Nurse Joy in the back while Eevee sleeps, where she sees his concern, starts to talk about how much she loved Eevee and wanted one when she was a kid, and then she ends up telling him Eevee will be sent to an adoption center in Scorpio City where he'd be able to adopt him if he gets there in time. In hindsight I think this plan was pretty misguided: all it really changes is to introduce a character making special exceptions for Mark, which really renders the whole process of Mark getting Eevee more Sueish than before. It's a slight twist on the usual cliché, but doesn't actually result in a different outcome, and the big cliché bit with Mark rescuing Eevee from the road in the first place still happened. I expect I didn't think of this until after I'd already written Mark rescuing Eevee again, mind, but either way introducing this meaningless complication wouldn't actually have made anything better, and I'm pretty glad I didn't actually end up getting to that point.

And then we get to the gym, which sure is a thing. A gym using brainwashed legendary clones should be something Mark'd find pretty unsettling and wrong, but he barely reacts, and I managed to make the whole thing pretty comical and silly, not only in how easily these legendaries go down but also in the kind of slapsticky specifics of how the battles play out, with the whole Splash thing and Raikou running in circles around the room after Charmander lights its tail on fire. The pre-HMMRCIG versions also featured Sandshrew rolling around the room chased by Zapdos until they were both so exhausted they fainted and Articuno outright melting into a pool of water full of feathers. All in all, I just really didn't write any of this to be taken seriously, which robs the whole legendary gym thing of the one thing it could've had going for it - it could've been sort of neat if I'd really played up the unsettlingness, but instead I just made it exactly as ridiculous as it sounds. In the IALCOTN, I was going to have Rick officially train low-level stone evolutions rather than legendaries, and I'd probably stick with that in the next revision.

The other issue with the gym is the junior trainers. I remember, as a kid, being annoyed that all the gyms in the anime just had Ash battling the gym leader right away - why didn't any of them have junior trainers, like the gyms in the games? I was determined to do it properly in my fanfic, and Rick got five of them, ensuring every legendary (in the first two generations) was represented in the gym at least once. However, this meant adding five kind of tedious, inconsequential battles before the one that actually mattered - more, actually, since Mark forfeits partway through and has to fight some of them again. In the HMMRCIG I did cut one of the trainers and a couple of the others' Pokémon, but it's still several pretty uninteresting battles that don't need to be there. I don't actually remember having explicit plans to cut them (or most of them) in the IALCOTN, but the chapter title sounds like it, and that'd make a lot of sense.


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