Skies of Light

Forum Index - Back to Your Own Fanfiction

Pages: 1


  • Posts: 4
Post #1
This was/is my first fanfic, so… yeah. :U

Skies of Light


A girl clings onto her partner, and desperately cries out, “This portal is getting a little bit strong! Make sure I don’t let go!” Her partner nods and continues down the path. Suddenly, a large ball of dark energy is hurled towards them. The girl gasps and yells, “DUCK!” Her partner does so but the dark energy knocks the girl off of him. She screams in terror, “GROVYLE!” Her partner’s eyes widen in horror as he tries to reach out to the girl, “Hang on!”

She creams as she’s sucked down the path, her voice getting fainter, “GROVYLE!” The Pokémon curses and can’t help but scream back, “AKI!” The girl tumbles down into the vortex, hearing her partner yelling in the distance. Something hard hits her head and she’s knocked unconscious. “Grovyle…” She murmurs as she goes into coma.

Critique this plz. o3o/

Blargh. :3

Sands Buisle

  • Posts: 351
Post #2
Looks a bit like what 'Pokemon Mystery Dungeon! Explorers of Time/Space!' Would begin like if you were a girl, but in the game Grovyle is sucked in too, and you go in willingly. That rumble was completley unnecessry, wasn't it?
Now, I would say something like 'Good job! Keep going!', But there's hardly anything there, so I'll wait until the next chapter to write that, if it desserves it.

Please check out my Fan Fics (They're in this forum).

I'm not always rational, but I think people think I am.

… errazib nialp tsuj era serutangis emos ,wonk ouy.

Buisle is the ruler of the seven seas of sand, it is the terror of all Floatzel!

Man, I wrote Fics of three different Pokemon story types! What's next?! A wild Pokemon fic?! Hmmmmm…


  • Posts: 4
Post #3
@SandStormBuisle I see, I'll try not to stick with the game plotline so much. :P
Skies of Light

Chapter 1

All the poor girl would see was darkness, the never-ending black void of nothing. She wanted to scream but she couldn’t, no sound came out of her throat. Aki was utterly alone in the blackness, all alone and afraid. She tried swimming back to consciousness, but was pushed back by the unrelenting currents of the darkness. Scared, Aki fought against the strong flow of the non-existent water of unconsciousness, but she was carried off by the waves of nothingness.

- - -

Hikaru stared at the Wigglytuff-themed tent, extremely nervous and slightly disturbed by the Wigglytuff theme overall. He hadn’t gotten over his phobia of them ever since he was attacked by a wild one since he was little. The Riolu tentatively paced left and right in front of the tent, thinking that would he step on the grate or not. He quickly glanced at the said grate on the ground and shivered, he was definitely uneasy. Hikaru shook his head to clear his worrying thoughts, No! I want to, no, I have to be as strong as Dad, who else can carry on his legacy?

Determined, he cautiously stepped on the grate that was used for security. Silence followed after, until a voice came out of where the lithe Riolu was standing, “Footprint detected, footprint detected!”

Hikaru flinched a bit, but kept still. “Whose footprint, whose footprint?” echoes back another voice.

“Riolu’s footprint, Riolu’s footprint!”
Then finally, he stepped away from the grille, already scared out of his wits. Hikaru sighed, and stared at the Relic Fragment he found.

“Honestly… how am I supposed to form an Exploration Team if I can’t become a man?” he muttered to himself. He sighed again; looked to the west and continued, “Why’d you have to leave, Dad?”

No answer.

“Maybe I’m becoming insane. I’ll just go to the beach to calm down a bit,” he murmured and headed off on the path towards his destination, the only beach near Treasure Town.

- - -

Aki heard something in the distance, footsteps maybe? She wasn’t really sure. But it strengthened her enough to fight back the strong waters of blackness. Aki swam to the light, and soon, she was awake.

“Oh, what am I gonna do?!” cried a frantic voice. Aki groaned as she lifted her weight up and looked at her surroundings. It seemed that she was at a beach, rainbow colored bubbles gently floated by as Krabby, sitting at the rocks of the beach, blew them. She turned to the source of the voice, a Riolu. Wait, a Riolu? Pokémon can’t talk, can they?

“… Who the heck are you?” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes to clear them.

“I’m Hikaru, and you were here unconscious. I thought you were dead!” he said, with a hint of panic.

“Well, I’m here. And where am I?” Aki inquired, looking around again.

“The beach,” The Riolu casually replied, seeming to have calmed down. The thought of Pokémon talking still nagged at Aki.

“Pokémon aren’t supposed to talk…” she stated, still having a headache from when she woke up.

“… Are you crazy?” the Riolu asked, staring at her as if she was delusional, “but then again… I would be sort of hypocritical for saying that, questioning my sanity…”

“Well, no I’m not crazy. Second, I’m a human, can’t you tell?”

A long silence stretched after that. The Riolu’s loud guffaw broke it as he was laughing so hard, he was rolling around on the sand.

“…” Aki just stared at the Riolu roll over the ground cackling madly. A few minutes went by and finally, the Emanation Pokémon calmed down. Wiping off his tears, the Riolu said, “Anyways… are you sure you’re not a Pikachu? ‘Cause you definitely look like one to me.”

“Wait, wha—?” She turned to her reflection in the water nearby. Aki froze instantly. The Riolu was right about her appearance, she was positively a freaking Pikachu with a freaking notched ear. She was shocked by her look, how could she be a Pikachu when she was a human? She reviewed through her facts, a, her name was Aki, b, she was a human, and c; she saw a flash of light before being unconscious.

Horrified, she turned to the Riolu, “But… I’m human…”

The Riolu narrowed his eyes at her, “Are you sure you’re not lying…?”

Aki shook her head ferociously. “I swear I’m a human! But…” she trailed off, her eyes now clouded with deep thought, “I’ve lost my memories…”

“Wait what? Back up, back up… You lost your memories?”

The human/notched-eared Pikachu solemnly nodded, still in deep thought, “I remember my name; I’m a human and a flash of light before being unconscious…”

“So then… what’s your name?”

“Aki…” she said, still sort of wandering from her mind. The Riolu clapped his paws in front of her face to get her attention. She snapped back to reality and focused on their conversation.

“Why are you like that?”

“You mean not focusing or paying attention?” she queried, tilting her head a little bit.


“I dunno… I can’t remember… I guess it’s just like this…” she said, trailing off again. This time, her face was contorted with disgust.

“What’s wrong?” What’s-his-face asked, a little worried.

“Stupid, smelly, annoying, low-life scum.” She murmured with loath.

“Hey, we ain’t dat low,” said a voice.

“Ho-ho-ho, we jus’ want ta see dat li’l treasure ya have ‘der.” said a different voice.

“Why are you trying to act like Santa Claus?” Aki called, standing up and looking towards a particular boulder nearby.

“Oh, dude, she called you Santa Claus,” grumbled the first voice.

“I know, I ain’t dat stupid. And I can’t help it if I chortle like that nonexistent fat man!” defensively cried the other.

And then the shady Pokémon revealed their selves from behind a rock nearby.

A cocky looking Zubat and Koffing stood side by side. Their eyes were latched onto the piece of stone that was strung onto the Riolu’s neck. Hikaru suddenly realized their intention and carefully hid what seemed to be his most prized possession. Aki turned to the crooks, her nose twitching with their horrible stench.

“Ugh,” she grumbled, pinching her nose, “You guys reek like crap,”

The Zubat seemed rather annoyed by her taunt, “Why you…”

But he didn’t have enough time for his very lame insult before he was Volt Tackled by Aki. Almost immediately, he was knocked out. The Koffing began to panic, and then he started to flee until the Pikachu caught up with him in no time and Slammed him. He was knocked out in one hit. As if by some miracle, she wasn’t exhausted nor looked like she was damaged by the recoil effect of her attacks. Aki patted her hands clean of dust and loose dirt. The Riolu seemed shocked by her skill, not comprehending what had just happened.

“That was very easy, they weren’t so hard. Hell, I think they were very easy to beat.” She turned to the surprised Emanation Pokémon and winked at him, “All done, no need to fear,”

- - -

Hikaru reviewed the fight scene over and over again, wondering how the newcomer would’ve learned those moves without using TMs or by obtaining from breeding. It was just not possible to just learn those moves without special means of getting them. He quickly examined her, and decided she was about lv. 1, no doubt. But… she just used those moves in that quick battle that ended in about a minute or so.

“How is it possible…?” he thought aloud.
In response, Aki shrugged lightly, “Dunno, I just happened to know those moves,”

“Weird, so you only remember your name, race and a flash of light, and you don’t how you learned those moves?”

“That pretty much sums it up,”

Groans came from the unconscious Zubat and Koffing. Aki turned around to notice the fail thieves waking up. Almost too quickly, she Slammed into them to knock them out again. “C’mon, let’s tie them up so we can turn them in. They must be criminals.”

“Not so fast!” cried a husky voice.

Aki’s nose twitched again. She covered it with an arm, “Ugh, what’s up with today? Is it Stink Day or something?”

“Chaw-haw-haw!” said the voice, “Naw, we jus’ want dat li’l necklace you got ‘der.”

The Pikachu cocked one of her eyebrows at this. Not wanting to sniff, but she had to, Aki carefully identified the scent.

“Hey, stupid Skuntank, come out where I can see so I can beat the crap outta you,”

Just as she predicted, the Skunk Pokémon came out of his hiding place looking insulted and angry.

“Hey, I ain’t stupid!” he said in defense.

“Then why can’t you at least speak with proper grammer?!” yelled Aki, she felt angry at this Pokémon’s poor syntax. Immediately, she Slammed and Volt Tackled the Skuntank who was caught by surprise. Just like the other two, he fainted right after she performed the attacks. She dusted off her shoulder and huffed.

“That’s what you get for being stupid,” she muttered. Aki turned to the Riolu, who seemed a bit shocked, and called him over.

“Help me drag these imbeciles to the town you mentioned,” she instructed, pointing to the said delinquents. Hikaru cocked an eyebrow at her, “I never mentioned any towns,”

Aki cocked an eyebrow back at him, “But didn’t you say, ‘Treasure Town should be nearby, we can arrest these idiots there,’? And what about my attacks and all those effects, you said?”

Now both of the Riolu’s eyebrows were raised, “I thought that, but I never said it.”

“Wait, what? Why can I hear your thoughts?”

Hikaru shrugged, “Nobody knows,”

Aki angrily groaned, quite frustrated by today’s events. “Let’s go then, where’s the sheriff at?”

“Most likely at the Town Square,” Hikaru replied, “Just follow me,”


The duo dragged the unconscious bodies to the said place, still thinking about Aki’s newfound ability.

I'd like some critique on all of the chapters from now on. :x

Blargh. :3

Sands Buisle

  • Posts: 351
Post #4
Nice chapter, you changed a couple of things from the game, which is good, now, I just read your signiture and it looks like a hundred chapters into the future, just saying.

Please check out my Fan Fics (They're in this forum).

I'm not always rational, but I think people think I am.

… errazib nialp tsuj era serutangis emos ,wonk ouy.

Buisle is the ruler of the seven seas of sand, it is the terror of all Floatzel!

Man, I wrote Fics of three different Pokemon story types! What's next?! A wild Pokemon fic?! Hmmmmm…


  • Posts: 16
Post #5
Yeah, great job on both chapters! You didn't make it too Far-fetched (well, in the canon world, at least), and good story development.
*nudges* You spelled 'grammar' wrong (when Aki was critiquing Skuntank on his 'grammer').
On that subject, nice thug speech.
Aside from the sparse grammar issues, awesome!

Error 404: The signature that you are looking for does not exist. Press Alt+F5 to get off this page.


  • Posts: 4
Post #6

@SSB I changed it. :p

@tony Oh gawd. D: Why the hell does Word let that slip?! Eh, I'm not that great at grammar. :/ Oh and thank you, it was my first try on thug speech. ^^;

Blargh. :3

Pages: 1

Forum Index - Back to Your Own Fanfiction