The Quest for the Legends

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Best: depth, by far. There is so much more to the story than the average OT fic.

Worst: writing style in the pre-Thunderyu battles. Obviously, the chapters can't be helped and will be fixed in the IALCOTN, but since you asked, I answered.

Worst: writing style in the pre-Thunderyu battles. Obviously, the chapters can't be helped and will be fixed in the IALCOTN, but since you asked, I answered.

Thank God I have at least one reader who notices that.

Best: the battles. They are a lot better than the average, and has blood and gore when needed. I appreciated that

Worst: you gave Ariados 6 legs!!! kidding, the worst the slow start.

Oh, yes. The best is definitely the battles. I also agree that the worst is the writing style early on. It's just a bit … slow, I guess?

Best: Battles. They have in-depth detail,action,and last a while, unlike some battles I've read that literally just say"Dratini tackled the caterpie and won".Other best: humour. It has great humor. -Worst:Time. You have to wait a (bleepin') average of a (bleepin') month and a half for the next(bleepin') chapter! (BLEEP)

I'll post my apologies in advance, steele, if your "worst" was just a joke.

However, steele, this isn't a newspaper that comes out every day, it is a (very well written)story that takes time to prepare.

I am actually pretty impressed how fast Butterfree writes… considering the good content. Some stories, people are *lucky* if the writer churns one chapter out every 3 months.

Yes, that was more of a joke. I respect Butterfree's talent and am willing to wait for each chapter.

Best: The huge scale of the story and how mind-bogglingly believable this is in the Pokemon world. I love how Butterfree can write the entire spectrum of Pokemon so accurately. The battles(though mostly more recent) are extremely well thought out and realistic. I constantly dream of playing a game with this plot, or reading this in a bookstore. I honestly believe that The Pokemon Company should publish it. Oh, and Scyther, too!

Worst: The string of coincidences leading to Mark's receiving an Eevee and Gyarados so early seemed waay too lucky.

Worst: The string of coincidences leading to Mark's receiving an Eevee and Gyarados so early seemed waay too lucky.

What, no mention of Dratini? :P Personally, I find him the most unbelievable of all. "Oh, hey, by the way, we happened to release a whole bunch of really rare Pokémon just when Mark was there!" And Gyarados wasn't a coincidence at all, really; it's cheap for him to get such a powerful Pokémon so early, but the fact Gyarados is there at all is an important, integrated part of the story and world, unlike Eevee and Dratini who were just conveniently placed in the right place at the right time so Mark could get his hands on them.

I think, for ten/eleven year olds, May and Mark are much too mature. They think very ratinolly, unlike people (on Earth, anyway) really would.

Twelve, you mean. I don't really know about that; I've known some pretty smart twelve-year-olds and from remembering when I was twelve myself kind of think people tend to think of children as a lot more stupid than they really are (I was unable to write to save my life, and unable to tell that a bright blue background on a website does not look good, sure, but I know I could could debate and make rational arguments just fine when I was thirteen, and I can't really believe that all happened in that one year in between).

That said, it is also simply a tradition, hell, pretty much a law of children's books, films, series and entertainment in general to portray children as perfectly capable of rational decisions, thinking things through, coming up with good ideas and so on, for the very simple reason that even if real twelve-year-olds wouldn't be this rational, they can still tell when characters in a book are being blatantly irrational or useless and feel patronized if all children their age are being shown that way. As I said, I'm not actually convinced this is entirely unrealistic, but even if it is, writing them this way is kind of akin to not writing about people going to the bathroom - yeah, unrealistic, but it makes the story better (having the main characters make stupid mistakes all the time and being too immature to do anything useful is just tiresome), extends the potential target audience and avoids offending anyone.

Emotional maturity is something of a different matter; people have commented that Mark's general emo-ness at the beginning sounds a couple of years older than he is, for instance. But at least my twelve-year-olds aren't falling in TRUE LOVE OMG.

But at least my twelve-year-olds aren't falling in TRUE LOVE OMG.

Yet.

Best:Razor,I love him so much!



Worst:May,she annoys me!!!

Give some love.

Best: The pokemon have more of a personality then most pokemon in fanfics i've read, and also, i like the fact that the trainers can talk to their pokemon, it really lets you know what the pokemon are thinking about and what ideas they have about battle strategies.

Best: almost everything. The characters are developing nicely and have excellent backstories, the battles are fricking amazing, all non-canon 'facts' are entirely believable (think the soul gem concept…loved it!), and the entire storyline is 'real book' worthy. On top of all that, there isn't a boring part to be seen in the entire thing!

Worst: Scyther seems to have dropped out of the story, even though he's physically there, he isn't doing much development-wise. Also, Mark seems way too smart for a 12 year old, he feels like more of a 14 year old to me…

Mark seems too smart for a 12 year old

*Ahem* Test scores high enough to pass me through tenth grade and make my lowest grade a C. WE ARE OHSOMUCH SMARTER THAN YOU THINK!

make my lowest grade a C

Uh. No offense or anything, but that's hardly what I'd call a good grade. Not to show off, but my lowest grade is a 98, and I've been accepted to take the SATs (simirally, I'm thirteen). A C isn't good at all; you can do much better than that. (And is it just me, or was that post just an excuse to show off your grades?)


And didn't we settle this? He's supposed to think smarter than his age, he's a character.

Also, I've read the story over. I think it's kind of adorable to see how the writing got from good to great, and now I think I know what you mean when you say that you want to rewrite them. Not that they're bad, (better than what I can write, at least), but they can definitly be improved.

(No proofreading. Sorry.)

geez…I didn't mean to insult any of you…I'm only 15, and I first found this site when I was 14… I really want to brag about my grades here, to show that none of us are idiots, but this isn't the place to do it

…anyways, it just seems to me that Mark is extremely mature for his age. When I think of any 6th and 7th graders from my (smallish) town going on this sort of all-important quest, the result is never good (to say the least)

…oh well, it IS Butterfree's story after all… I guess it's a testament to her writing ability that the biggest issue is a little-bit-too-smart 12 year old

^Prescisly what I thought, though articulated better. If you read up a bit, you can see her reasoning.