04/28/2019: Commentary: chapter 52
Chapter 52: The League Finals (commentary)On this week's chapter of The Quest for the Legends, we set the stage for the next chapter's cruel twist, Mark learns about souls, I set up for chapter 75 in another unexpectedly plotty conversation, Chaletwo is very determined that Mew would never lie to him ever, Taylor continues to be a tragically oblivious dork, I get to write seriously about the Raichu superclone I made up when I was twelve, Tyranitar assures us he is not weak, and I tell you about Alexander the League Champion.
COMMENTARY DONE
Comments
Isaac (04/29/2019 03:51:01)
Definitely one of the most shocking and memorable parts of the fic. I remember thinking this was the most amazing twists ever, and then I got to the NEXT chapter. 😕
Definitely didn't remember or connect this soul gems bit to the end with Chalenor affecting Mitch, even on my blitz reread. (But it was after all a *blitz* reread.)
On a related note, I obliviously read straight past Mark's passivity and it's only in your commentary that I realise you're consistently trying to explore and raise questions about that. (Again, though, I was blitzing and not in hyper literature-analysis mode.) You talk here about needing to be more subtle, but I'm reminded of some quote by Yudowkowsky about how in HPMoR he constantly felt like he was spelling things out but still most or all of his readers missed things.
Of course, not saying you need to write your story in a way only people like me will appreciate on a first read, and maybe it was actually completely unsubtle for most people and it was just me who missed it. 🙈
On less of a meta note, I do honestly feel like Mark pushing back against May would alienate her, and then Mark's influence might be lost altogether. Alan kind of does exactly that! Tackling your friends issues like this is such delicate work, especially when it comes to a friend like May. (He says "Good luck" and wonders if he just pissed her off somehow.) Mark didn't have the experiences, sensitivity, timing, or motherly nature of Stantler. By the end of the story I think he has the intimacy and understanding of her to have approached it, but that intimacy and understanding was partially gained by going through all this, and sticking by her when everyone else had written her off. (Not to mention, being the type of person who politely ignored her more annoying traits in the beginning of the story, even when they grated on him.)
He could have maybe said some right things if he was really careful and cautious, and I do think it was sort of his duty to try, but taking Alan's tack of aggressively calling it out would have demonstrably not worked, I think.
May, May, May–I just love everything May. Her complicated emotionality, and her friendship with Mark, and her issues, and ahhhhhhh. Kudos again on such a well-realised character. Not exaggerating when I say she's one of my favourites in all fiction–she really stuck with me since I was a little kid.
P.S. I DON'T KNOW ALL THE POKEMON ANYMORE, LET ALONE HOW TO SPELL THEM; YOUR SPAM VERIFICATION MAKES ME GRR!!!!
Butterfree (04/29/2019 12:38:14)
I didn't really see a lot of people comment on the Mark's passivity thing, so I'm not assuming it was obvious to everyone that that was significant - it probably wasn't, and shouldn't really be anyway. But I think the specific way I state it sounds just a bit too blunt as inner monologue for Mark - I think it doesn't seem entirely genuine as his thought process for him to be like "Well, I'm not the sort of person who would call this out." So that's the motivation for saying I'd do it a bit less bluntly, more than it being "too obvious". Don't feel bad it didn't stand out for you!
I agree any significant pushback from Mark would probably alienate May, as we saw with Alan (I think I mentioned this in a previous commentary). Doesn't entirely absolve Mark, though - that's not the reason he doesn't speak up, given what happens alienating May probably would've been entirely worth it, and he probably could have spoken up in some way that wouldn't necessarily set her off. It's one of those very human things where it doesn't seem important enough in the moment to stand up and disrupt things, and it's hard to see dramatic consequences coming.
It puts such a big grin on my face whenever you talk about Mark and May! Thanks for commenting! You won't have to do the Pokémon CAPTCHAs if you register an account, you know. :P
Chibi (04/29/2019 15:24:44)
I always thought the line where Mark asks Chaletwo why he doesn't intervene was a little weird, seeing as it's completely none of his business lol. (But perhaps Mark was projecting a tad.)
A fun, easily overlooked detail is that since Mew didn't tell anyone about the War until recently (as opposed to previous cycles where everyone knew all about the War all along) is that everyone spends all this time thinking soul gems are a perfect, albeit selfish, solution. When in reality, it wouldn't even work because war-crazed legendaries can detect legendary souls. :P
The May vs Taylor battle has got to be one of my favorite in the whole fic. I love the sheer tension that persists throughout the entire battle as we see May's Pokemon completely outclassed, but managing to pull ahead anyway by playing smarter and abusing the aforementioned five switches vs three (an angle which I hadn't even considered when it was first mentioned that he could only bring four mons.) I know previous battles in the fic struggled to properly show May as a competent battler, but this one really shined in that regard, and it was the one where it mattered most.