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10/21/2018: Commentary: chapters 19 and 20

Chapter 19: Good or Evil? (commentary)
Chapter 20: The Warning (commentary)

Two chapters again, because I felt like it! In these chapters, I continue to be terrible at time, May tells Mark to stop whining about nearly being murdered, I fail to deal with the Scyther situation in any way whatsoever, we leave Aquarium City after spending like a chapter and a half in it, I speculatively rewrite the terrible, terrible Pokémon Center Chaletwo poster, Alan retells some Molzapart and Rainteicune, I manage to write Ash's Pikachu severely out of character, and we go over some of the hilarious ways that Alan has been a dick over the years. In the meantime, nobody is taking the whole child murder thing nearly as seriously as they should.
Commenting on: chapter 52

Comments

Altissimo (10/21/2018 18:33:45)
you said the way the humans being chosen by chaletwo is changing in the next revision - I think you might have touched on this before but I forget, so what are you thinking? Just that he doesn't actually kill them, in front of hundreds/thousands of spectators, anymore? lol
Butterfree (10/21/2018 19:16:39)
I haven't decided exactly what I'm doing with it yet! Still mulling it over as I work on the commentary. Recently, it's occurred to me that I could still keep Mark being killed publicly at the Pokémon Festival, if I either:

1) have Mark be the first kid Chaletwo kills in public. There can be a scheduled Chaletwo appearance, where he scouts for potential subjects, but he hasn't murdered them right there and then until now, when he knows this is his last scheduled appearance before the War and just goes screw it, I need to get this last kid initiated as soon as possible. Thus, Mark can show up for Chaletwo's appearance without this being an invitation to be murdered! Unfortunately this'd mean no building tension about Chaletwo and what he's up to, unless I, like, also had a rumour mill where somebody's Pokémon says they know a Pokémon who witnessed Chaletwo killing a human out in the wilderness somewhere, or something like that, and obviously Mark doesn't believe that stuff because a legendary Pokémon would never do that, right? Hrmm, could work.

2) Chaletwo has been killing kids in public, but not on a schedule; it's just known that a few times now, he's appeared suddenly in crowds, killed a kid, and then teleported away. Chaletwo appearing at the Pokémon Festival is a surprise to everyone, and Mark is simply there by coincidence. This does allow for looming Chaletwo menace, and I can picture the scene being pretty intense, but since nobody knows he'll appear at the festival, there wouldn't be the whole aspect of the countdown to it.

But yeah, this isn't something I developed for the IALCOTN since I didn't start thinking I needed to change it until after I'd stopped actively working on that, and for something this major and significant, coming up with a complete idea that I'm happy with is going to take longer than the time it takes me to write a chapter commentary or blog comment off the top of my head! So don't expect a definitive answer anytime soon.
Altissimo (10/22/2018 19:40:14)
if you care about fan input I think the first one's more fun lmao (incl. rumor mill)
Negrek (10/24/2018 21:38:40)
So when are we going to get the legendary-capturing adventures of Anonymous Dirtbag?

I was tickled by how Mark totally knew Chaletwo was dangerous, and Alan keeps making it sound like probably definitely going to kill him, but then Mark is horribly tempted anyway and ends up going to see him and dying. Someone who might be susceptible to a certain lethal entertainment, perhaps? :P
Chibi (10/28/2018 22:33:14)
So when are we going to get the legendary-capturing adventures of Anonymous Dirtbag?
Oh yeah I was supposed to write that wasn't I? Whoops. :P Sadly all my progress on it was lost because I wrote it on my old work computer, but it was the process of working on that silly thing that made me realize "oh yeah I can write fic here" which is what led to me working on the Book 2 outline which is what led to me doing NaNoWriMo '15 so in other words, Anonymous Dirtbag saved LC.

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