01/02/2010: The Original
I have just been reading through the original version on a whim. It is hilarious.Mark makes the most ridiculously inane comments in between reading about all the legendaries in the book; the book itself is written like a section on Butterfree's Pokémon Site; the battles are of course awful as ever; Mark is all thinking about teams and moves and catching both Suicune and the mysterious disappearing Gyarados; and then once he gets to Rick's gym, you have gems like these:
“It’s cloned, you fool,” said the trainer.
Then, a very funny pursuit began.
Gyarados started to laugh, that is, to roar wildly between catching his breath. The other trainer also laughed, fell to the floor and rolled around of laughter. He reminded Mark strongly of Sandshrew.
“Char! Mele! On!” Entei fainted.
“The Suicune… it’s cloned from the one that cleans the lake! It must know Gyarados!” Mark whispered. “Suicune isn’t going to battle anymore!”
“Cune,” Suicune said weakly and then fell to the floor.
“What do you want now, kid?” (If you didn’t guess, Mewtwo said that.)
“Whaddayawant?” said Mewtwotwo.
“I’m going to buy… uh, one Thunderstone, one Fire blast TM, one Surf HM, one Shadow ball TM and one Earthquake TM,” he said to the woman at the counter. She got it all from shelfs and said: “It’s 10700, but as you’re a young trainer and you’re buying 5 items, you can get it for 96700.”(The best thing about this one, if you didn't actually do the math, is that the special price the woman is offering him is actually more than nine times higher than the original price.)
Mark thought of how the Mewtwo had teleported away. And the trainer had said “the last one also did”. How many Mewtwos could be lurking around, waiting to take over the world? Mark tried not to think about it and went through.
This is great. I'm going to go read the Good Battle Style now.
Also, by the way, I've made a sort of new year's resolution to try to write at least 100 pages of The Quest for the Legends in 2010. Which is exactly the same resolution as I made in 2009 and didn't manage to fulfill, but I think the reason is just that I've been writing very battle-heavy chapters this year and those have always taken me a while; I'm hoping that in 2010 I'll be able to write a bit quicker, since there are fewer huge battles.
EDIT: The Good Battle Style has a "large ironic door". Oh, my wonderfully poor grasp of English.
COMMENTARY DONE
Comments
Steele (01/02/2010 22:01:33)
Ha. Did Mark take the deal? I just noticed that the 2nd main charecter in a book series I'm working ons name is Mark. Keep those pages comin', I'm looking forward to anything you write, Morphic, One-Shots, whatever.
To InnerDemon: I beat you, AGAIN!
Butterfree (01/02/2010 22:15:32)
Yeah, Mark took the deal. I probably meant it to be 107000 originally, or for the discount price to be 9670, but I didn't proofread it well enough to do it right. :P
In the Good Battle Style, incidentally, the mistake is removed and she just says the price is 96700 immediately. It improved a lot more than I remembered; most of those ridiculous quotes I gave were changed.
shadow_lugia (01/03/2010 06:15:53)
"An ironic door"
…You just made my day. I might just have to quote that.
Also, maybe Mark was just being swindled.
By the way, I know you hate typos… By "prize," did you mean "price"?
Butterfree (01/04/2010 17:25:12)
A gem about Pokémon speech from May from chapter eleven of the Good Battle Style:“No! Really, have you never found it hard to learn hundreds of languages that are only one word each? Actually, my Butterfree speaks Japanese. I mean, Japanese Butterfreeish. I didn’t notice when I caught it, Japanese and English Caterpieish sound sort of the same, but when it evolved into Metapod… that was a nightmare! All it said was some Transell nonsense and I didn’t understand one word! Luckily, Japanese Butterfreeish also sounds sorta like English one, so when it evolved, I started to understand it again. It was such a relief…”
elyvorg (01/04/2010 20:46:20)
That's just… so silly it's hilarious. xDD
Leafpool (01/05/2010 21:42:46)
… how is that Butterfree Japanese in the first place
Happy (01/06/2010 02:10:20)
Tourism, man. Some Pokemon just want to see the world.