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Kitsune
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 50: Friendly Competition
During the battle against Tyranitar and Letaligon: "…the flow of sand around him jerking as if in sympathy." Please forgive me for being dense, but what does it mean for the sand to be jerking about sympathetically? Why is Tyranitar suddenly sympathetic? However, this is a very nice chapter; this is one of the best Pokemon fanfics I have seen!Reply: The idea was just to say that Tyranitar was feeling pain, and that disrupted the flow of the sand, as if it were personally responding to Tyranitar's pain as opposed to just being induced by his presence.
[10/08/2009 21:34:59]
ArcanineLegend
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 50: Friendly Competition
Wow. The battle was incredible and Mark did really well. I wonder what's going to happen to Scyther?
[10/08/2009 20:09:17]
hellfirehoundoom
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 50: Friendly Competition
yes, I have a little bit of Criticism, I'm not trying to be rude, but it's "Dove" not "Dived", but other than that, the chapter was great. It was kinda obvious Mark would lose, but who doesn't once in a while?Reply: Both "dove" and "dived" are correct. I like to use "dived" because, one, it is actually the original form ("dove" is an Americanization originally incorrectly imitating verbs like "drive" that has simply gained enough common usage to be considered correct), and two, "dove" makes me think of the bird.
[10/08/2009 10:53:47]
InnerDemon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 50: Friendly Competition
First comment again! Whoo. :]
Oh my gosh. This was awesome but sad :[. Ahh! Mark's done training nooooo!
[10/08/2009 00:26:51]
Raitora Kuro Yamiraku
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 49: The Rage of a Scyther
Wow. That battle was so freaky. I feel so sorry for Michael, too. *huggles Michael* XD
[10/02/2009 04:44:37]
puredragon222
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 49: The Rage of a Scyther
This isn't technically relevant to the chapter, but I can't think of anywhere else to put it. Why did Chaletwo decide to travel with Mark, and not just the first kid he killed? Besides the obvious reason that it's because Mark is the main character, I mean.Reply: Because Mark is the last one ever. The plan was never go to with anybody; they figured the kids would eventually catch all the legendaries. By the time Mark came along, however, as Chaletwo says in chapter 25, they were getting desperate, and figured perhaps it would help ever so slightly if Chaletwo actually came along to hold their hands throughout. (Molzapart, meanwhile, needed to be caught in a ball so that he wouldn't just go crazy when the Destroyer releases all that pent-up legendary energy.)
[09/29/2009 21:07:00]
bojangle387
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 20: The Warning
Hmm, I kinda know what Mark would feel like. If I was MArk, and I had the chance to see Ash Ketchum himself, I would Try my best to be polite, mainly because I felt bad about making Alan feel even worse, But I would also be like freaking out inside.
[09/28/2009 01:04:32]
Donovan
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 49: The Rage of a Scyther
I just finished chptr 49. when's the next one? I have nothing else to do at school.Reply: Whenever I've finished writing it, which on average these days tends to take something between one month and three.
[09/23/2009 15:15:22]
puredragon222
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 49: The Rage of a Scyther
I can't believe that Scyther pretty much destroyed that guys life.
[09/21/2009 15:33:48]
Natural
Story: The Quest for the Legends (IALCOTN)
Chapter: Chapter 6: The Lake of Purity
Amazing story, well written and full of excitement. when will the next one come out?Reply: Of this version, unfortunately, it will probably be a while, since I tend to feel a lot more like writing something completely new in the other version than rewriting the same chapters for the billionth time.
[09/20/2009 20:19:37]
Sonar
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 49: The Rage of a Scyther
… Wow… That was SO COOL!!!
Really exiting. Dang, you sure know how to whip a good story up!
[09/19/2009 09:27:23]
rachel
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 49: The Rage of a Scyther
i loved this chapter. I liked who he had to battle and im glad Mark won.
Will he go against May after?
When are they going to the next regions?
[09/16/2009 20:56:14]
Karpi
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 49: The Rage of a Scyther
Letaligon didn't change its personality… perfect! I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens to Letaligon after the League ends… also I miss my favorite character (Mark's Gyarados)
[09/13/2009 13:32:46]
Asbjørn
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 14: Thief and Victim
In the last three lines you wrote: “You going to take him back or something?” Mark said in a horribly shaky voice.
“No,” she answered, handing the Pokéball to him while staring in the other direction. “I… threw him away… he’s not mine…”
Mark took the Pokéball, covered in sweat from May’s hand, and attached it back to his own belt. He knew both of them were thinking about the same thing: Officer Jenny’s eyes.
where you say him and he when talking about quilava. I might just be mistaken about something, but that is kinda confusing. Sorry if I just misunderstood somethingReply: No, he's talking about Charmeleon. May switched the balls so that she ended up taking Charmeleon back while Taylor is stuck with Quilava again. Now that May knows Charmeleon is the Charmander she threw away, Mark is initially worried she'll just want to reclaim him in place of retrieving her Quilava.
[09/13/2009 10:17:00]
lisa
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 48: The Second Preliminary
is the destroyer Mitch?
[09/11/2009 15:56:54]
emma
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 39: The Workings of the War
i just realized rainteicune couldnt be the destroyer
could it be like a twist at the end and it turns out that a very powerful gengar is behind it all and this Gengar is what keeps pokemon away from sailance?
[09/11/2009 15:51:42]
emma
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: Chapter 39: The Workings of the War
who is the destroyer?
is it rainteicune?Reply: I can't exactly go telling you that, can I? :P
[09/11/2009 15:48:06]
hellfirehoundoom
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 49: The Rage of a Scyther
Best chapter since the battle with the last Gym Leader! Great Job!
[09/11/2009 00:01:09]
Sui
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 49: The Rage of a Scyther
…What now? And what's going to happen to Mark after this? It's like déjà vu every battle. First Aaron and then Michael. How many trainers will he battle that he knows already?Reply: What do you mean, what now? The story continues, Mark moves on to the next round and battles somebody, whom he may or may not know.
[09/10/2009 21:05:59]
Pure Umbreon
Story: The Quest for the Legends (ILCOE)
Chapter: The Ouen League – Chapter 49: The Rage of a Scyther
So here is my first comment about a chapter IN THE CORRECT PLACE!
I was really impressed with the chapter. You said the battle in this chapter wasn't as good as the others. While the statement is true, the battle didn't have to be. The battle was not the main focus nor the climax point of the story.
I was very entertained with all the intriguing psychological processes of the chapter, including the true climax of the story, the scyther/michael standoff.
I was also impressed with how you completely anti-Stu'd Mark (he battled horribly) … while letting him continue in the tournament. I doubt I could manage something like that in a story I could write.
One slight nitpick I had with the chapter was the paragraph that started "Both of their battles were on the fifteenth". I felt the paragraph could have been worded better to give a better sense of time flow… as it is now, it states the battles were on the fifteenth, then the next sentence screams, "Oh yah, the fifteenth happens to be today, btw."
Overall, that paragraph beginning is a minor greivance to an overwhelmingly great chapter. I put it in my top 5 TQftL chapters so far.
[09/10/2009 05:01:16]